Today marks not only Mother’s Day but also my mom’s birthday – a fact that is not merely a coincidence for someone who has exceeded her role as a mom the past 25 years. 

Although it’s important to celebrate my mom’s work as well… a mom, for her blog post today, I wanted to separate her from her role as a mother to celebrate her as a person.

There is a quote often shared in podcasts and social media that says, “Be kind to your parents, it’s their first time living life too.”

The quote is normally attributed to how children should treat their parents when they make mistakes or when things are difficult. While true, maybe I can sometimes be nicer to my mom, I’ve actually perceived it as a reminder that my mom is such a cool person, separate from her identity as a mom.

Usually, in these blog posts, I detail how amazing my mom is, in terms of how she treats me, loves me, and shows up day in and day out. That all is still true – and even more present as I prepare to leave home and enter a new stage of adulthood. However, I also know it’s my mom’s first life too, and she has done so much more than being my mom. 

While I don’t know if humility is her greatest strength, and I fear she may have already laid out these accomplishments in prior posts, for all the times she’s celebrated me, I owe it to her to celebrate her now. Here are some amazing things about my mom that have nothing to do with her being a mom!

1. She has been writing a book for years and has immensely dedicated her time in pursuit of this goal. She blocks out space for independent writing, spends time with a writing group, attends a weekly writing class, and is consistently thinking of ways to improve the book and create something she is proud of. It has been incredible to watch her dedication and inspiring to see how much hard work she has put in for no other reason than she can, and she cares. 

2. My mom has maintained a group chat with her three best friends from college for the past twenty-plus years. They send their Wordle scores every day, their dinner plans, and how the weather looks in each of their parts of the world. Her group chat not only gives me hope for myself and my persisting high school group chat, but it also gives me hope for the world. It takes hard work, but if friends from college can still be in each other’s lives to discuss grandkids and retirement – well, maybe the world isn’t doomed to fail after all.

3. My mom is so knowledgeable about so many things. The joke, that’s not really a joke, is that you should never challenge her in trivia because you will get demolished. Every day, my mom seeks to learn new things through conversations, travel, and attendance at any cultural event. Her pursuits embody the notion that learning never stops. My mom has never let age, boredom, or anything else stop her. How cool!

4. In the same vein, my mom has an incredible sense of self. She knows who she is, and she wears it with pride. She is enamored with tea, Jane Austen, flowers, art, Broadway, The Gilded Age… and she lets the world know! It has been incredible to grow up with someone who knows exactly who she is and has never once changed her ways based on a social media trend or someone else’s opinion. 

As I finish writing this list (which could easily go on), I struggle because while all of the items on the list are indeed detached from my mom being a mom, they are also intrinsically connected. From my mom’s writing habits, I, as her daughter, have learned how to create a goal and meet it. From my mom’s group chat, I have seen what it takes to be a good friend, trying to emulate my mom’s choices in my own relationships. When my friends ask me how I have so much appreciation for culture, the answer is always the passion for culture and learning, which my mom has modeled my entire life. And, the confidence in myself which I carry into every space I enter is because I was raised by a woman who showed me what it means to believe in yourself, possess your own opinions, and achieve whatever you put your mind to.  

Mom, you are so much more than a mom, but boy am I lucky that you got to be my mom. Thank you for being the best mom. I know it’s your first time living too, but when it comes to me, you’ve done everything right. Thank you for being such a cool person whose life I have gotten to witness and learn from since I was born. 

Happy Mother’s Day and happy birthday! 

Love,

H