You're exactly right and I'm glad you're saying it.

I'm a person this happens to. Often.

And something important here is the dumb ass concept of "or else she'll get offended"

Fucking. Offended.

These stupid motherfuckers will trip over their feet, spill their coffee, and buy you a new car if they accidentally misgender your DOG

They'd go OUT OF THEIR FUCKING WAY to make sure your dog is represented with the right pronouns and they'll get it right Every. Fucking. Time.

Do

You

THINK

They give a FUCK

If a dog even KNOWS

How to be offended?

Fucking. No. "Offended" is the bigots way of saying that the only thing that changes if they misgender you is your "feelings"

As if they'll very gently "hurt your feelings" by literally saying they think you are something that you're not.

They think you just need to "grow up" and "get a thicker skin" and "let people get it wrong" because "this stuff is hard and new xyz..."

But that's not the fucking case at all. When you tell someone who can't immediately deduce you're a woman that you're a woman, and they choose to jump to those excuses; what they're saying is that who you are INSIDE YOUR VERY FUCKING SOUL is not someone they see as worthy of respect.

And just to be extra fucking clear: every word of what I'm saying here applies to trans men and nonbinary people and people of every other gender or lack of gender that fucking exist. If that's you, just substitute the gender below from she and her to whatever your pronouns and gender is to represent you.

Trans people, when someone does this; remove that person from your life. Step over them. Get around them. Move past them. You don't fucking need them.

And to the people who do this shit:

It's so easy to see someone as who they are, trans people regularly recognize other trans people LONG before they actually transition. You can SEE them. You can see that woman's soul struggling to find purchase in reality so she can come bursting out into the world. You want to help her in whatever way she needs it because you WANT the world to see her for who she is.

It's not only about respect. It's not about fucking stupid ass "feelings". It's not about how she was raised or if she can perform a certain goddamn way. Trans people deserve the correct pronouns because they're fighting a goddamn WAR to just fucking exist and be SEEN.

When your fucking soul, your spirit, the fucking stardust that MAKES YOU, YOU; gathers itself up and says "the world can't see me through the eyes of this stupid fucking meat sack so I NEED TO MAKE THIS MEAT SACK LOOK LIKE ME"

That's way bigger than goddamn FEELINGS.

In the case we're talking about of a trans woman: that's a whole ass woman, screaming, ripping, digging her way through a veil that the universe fucking placed over her without her consent or permission

And by pretending you don't fucking see her once she has dug herself out of that fucking HOLE the universe put her in, at great fucking risk to herself and her ability to exist in the world-

Once she has fought and won an entire fucking war inside herself to say FUCK YOU UNIVERSE, YOU'RE NOT GONNA HIDE ME!!!-

When she faces down a fucking society that says she should rather fucking DIE than be seen, and says "I am a goddamn woman, lay your eyes upon me and see me for who the fuck I am!"-

And you turn to her and say "person"? You call her "them"? You treat her like some soft weak idiot who DOESN'T know who she is and only cares that her "wittle feewings don't get hurt"???? All you're doing is proclaiming yourself as someone who does not deserve HER respect. You're placing your OWN self at her feet and BEGGING to be stomped on as she walks the fuck past you on her way to face the rest of the world.

She WILL find people who are better than you. She will find people who fucking see her and know the battles she has fought and fucking WON. And those people will look at those eyes and see a WOMAN. And they'll stand beside her, and support her, and make her stronger.

If you do this shit, she doesn't fucking need you. If you hear "my pronouns are she/her" and you make those bullshit excuses, you are just cursing yourself to a life WITHOUT her. Because she WILL walk past you. She WILL forget you. She won't remember your face or your name as she goes on to be a part of loving communities all over the world who see her for who she is. And in the end, YOU'LL be the one sitting there licking your wounds from when she stepped over you and worrying about your stupid little "feelings."