I’ve read and written about countless dating trends in recent years, but I must say, the “Four Sixes” dating trend is one of the most egregious. Rooted in superficiality and unrealistic standards, it’s a surefire way to remain single for life. Although I’m starting to think that’s the entire point of this trend…(which, by the way, is likely more of a social-media-driven idea created strictly for shock value than actual application). 

To put it bluntly, the “Four Sixes” dating trend requires male partners to be 6 feet tall, earn a 6-figure salary, have 6-pack abs, and be 6 inches or more in length. Now, if you ask me, this “trend” is more of a pushback on or call-out of the ridiculously shallow standards we set for each other in modern dating. Perhaps it’s more of a “parody” trend than an actual dating expectation.

“I see it less as a genuine dating trend and more as an outrage-bait TikTok phrase designed to get people arguing and feed the algorithm,” says Jeanne Sullivan Billeci, dating and relationship coach and Principal at The Soul Mate Coach. “It works because the dating scene has become a bit toxic, fueled by unrealistic standards, ghosting, and lack of authenticity.”

Why, exactly, have so many modern daters become superficial in their approach to dating? For some, it might actually be a coping mechanism.

“After repeated disappointment, some people become more rigid as a form of self-protection,” she says. “Very specific external requirements can feel easier to control than the vulnerability of getting to know someone and risking rejection.”

What the ‘Four Sixes’ Dating Trend Tells Us About Modern Dating

Now, personally, I don’t give a shit about any of the “four sixes” listed in this trend. I’m far more concerned about a potential partner being kind, respectful, responsible, ambitious…you get the idea. I think most “average” daters feel the same as I do, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation. Of course, on social media, we mostly see the extremes.

“It tells us as much about social media as it does about dating,” Billeci points out. “Extreme opinions travel further than nuanced ones.”

However, if you scroll on TikTok or watch reality dating shows, you’ll quickly realize that some modern daters actually do prioritize attraction and chemistry over genuine connection and compatibility.

“It also shows how, in the age of AI, people are becoming more prone to fantasy than real intimacy,” says Billeci. “In the age of influencers, some seem to be seeking a lifestyle upgrade as something they’re entitled to, or they are settling. Both focuses are a great way to stay safe from hurt but lonely.”

Dating for Connection Over Chemistry

So many modern daters prioritize instant chemistry over a genuine connection and compatibility. Obviously, attraction is important, but it can also be built through a deep intellectual bond, emotional safety, and shared values. 

“[Daters] should remember that intense chemistry is not always compatibility,” says Billeci. “Studies show that when relationships are built on friendship, they have a much better chance of success. And how much better is sex when you are accepted for who you really are?”

As someone who fell head over heels for her best guy friend, I can attest to this.