well, congratulation to me, learned a new word Maxillofacial fracture, and i’m sure i’ll remember it for the rest of my life.

i barely recall how it all happened – there’s not much memory left with me. the road is just opened, and the street lights aren’t start working. it’s almost pitch-black, and barely see the road surface. i guess my wheels get stuck in a rock or stick. since the road slopes downward, i’m definitely not going slow — i guess, without a little speeding there’s no way i could have this face now. i‘m not really aware of how badly i’m hurt, until looking at myself in the hospital washroom mirror. with this face, i could scare kids into crying effortlessly, or play as an NPC in a haunted house—i guess i’d be welcomed there. i transferring from a small hospital to a medium-sized one, and eventually settling in one of the city’s biggest. truly thankful for my friends. whether at work or in life, i prefer not to brother others. it’s almost midnight. if put myself in this shoes, i know i’d struggle. but maybe, in these small troubles that real connections grow.

about the surgery. sometimes fractures can heal naturally over time. but the bones can heal in a wrong position, and cause facial asymmetry. however, no choice leaves to me, since i can’t open my mouth wide. the breaking bones are pressing against the bones of mouth. the surgery is going very well, except the part of anesthetic injection. as my mouth couldn’t open wide enough. so the doctor have to inject it from my throat while i’m still conscious 🤐 . however, it wasn’t as scary as I imagined.

while lying in a hospital bed with nothing to do, i often wonder if i will stop skateboarding. the answer comes to my mind is yes — because fear speaks louder than anything else. only when confined in a hospital bed, i come to truly appreciate the comfort of home and the priceless value of a healthy body. i may not afraid of the final curtain call, but the endless waiting in the wings terrifies me. i already witnessed several accidents, and i should have heeded their lessons with greater caution. yet, i failed to learn from the past – i ignored the risks and dangers for too long, or perhaps misjudging my own limits, blinded by overconfidence.

this time, i pay my price for my shallow wisdom and careless actions, and in return, i re-gain a deeper reverence. life stretches far beyond this moment, i still long for the freedom, the thrill, the joy that skateboarding brings to me. so the final answer remains i refuse to stop. however, the fear will stay with me, a constant reminder to approach every action with cautions, never rush, always be mindful and patient.