I had a kid recently, and I realized that I'm not a very mentally strong/resilient person. I mean, in some ways I am and have built up a life I love, but I want to do more and be more, and know that I lack discipline.

Having a kid is extremely difficult, and so mentally taxing, so I find myself inadvertently shying away from some of the work and lean more and more on my wife/in-laws. I am nowhere near absent, but I find myself to be a complainer when it comes to this stuff and feel that I shouldn't be this way. I need to be stronger.

I've always wanted to build a company/be a founder. I know I would be happier because I do my best work when I'm working on my own projects. I have very big dreams, and yet I always lean towards the easy path in the evenings after my 9-5 of slipping back to cooking, watching TV and telling myself tomorrow will be a new day.

I've been doing this for a decade now and I've gotten nowhere aside from a fairly decent career. I really want to blow myself up, in a way. I know where I'm mentally weak, but I don't know where to begin. I'm sure a lot of the answer revolves around small steps, but another part of me wonders whether it's even possible, because I've spent the best part of my life leaning towards the generally easy way out of most of what I do and following the dopamine driven lifestyle. The muscle memory is so strong.