Deep learning-based video surveillance increasingly demands privacy-preserving architectures with low computational and environmental overhead. Federated learning preserves privacy but deploying large vision-language models (VLMs) introduces major energy and sustainability challenges. We compare three strategies for federated violence detection under realistic non-IID splits on the RWF-2000 and RLVS datasets: zero-shot inference with pretrained VLMs, LoRA-based fine-tuning of LLaVA-NeXT-Video-7B, and personalized federated learning of a 65.8M-parameter 3D CNN. All methods exceed 90% accuracy in binary violence detection. The 3D CNN achieves superior calibration (ROC AUC 92.59%) at roughly half the energy cost (240 Wh vs. 570 Wh) of federated LoRA, while VLMs provide richer multimodal reasoning. Hierarchical category grouping (based on semantic similarity and class exclusion) boosts VLM multiclass accuracy from 65.31% to 81% on the UCF-Crime dataset. To our knowledge, this is the first comparative simulation study of LoRA-tuned VLMs and personalized CNNs for federated violence detection, with explicit energy and CO2e quantification. Our results inform hybrid deployment strategies that default to efficient CNNs for routine inference and selectively engage VLMs for complex contextual reasoning.