The last time I had a legitimate, obsessive celebrity crush was when I found out about N’SYNC and Justin Timberlake and JC Chasez when I was in kindergarten. One day, my mom, highly aware and supportive of my boy band fixation, brought a stack of N’SYNC posters home and I giddily plastered them all around my bedroom. The other celeb crush that hit me similarly as hard, I was just a little bit older and watching NBA star Chris Weber play for the Sacramento Kings. I printed out a picture of him, taped it smack dab in the center of my periwinkle headboard, and kissed it every night before I went to bed. Yeah, I was down bad. But as I grew up, I left those childish ways behind and focused on real life. So imagine my dismay when I, a very grown, early 30s woman, became absolutely overcome and undone by the sight of Matthew Law in the Netflix series Nemesis.

Matthew Law, who you might know as the charming IT guy, O’Shon, in Abbott Elementary, stars in the cops and robbers drama alongside Y’lan Noel (aka Daniel from Insecure). If you’re better with faces than names, allow me:

Okay so you get it, right? Right. Don’t get me wrong, would I fold like a card table—legs up and away!—for both men, perhaps! But as my group chat has informed me, I do indeed have a type and Matthew Law as Isaiah Stiles fits every bit of that description.

I don’t know what it is because I was not lusting after him quite this hard in Abbott (but it was present, make no mistake). Maybe it’s because his character in Nemesis, affectionately just referred to as “Stiles,” just does something O’Shon can’t for me. Am I easily smitten by a sweet, thoughtful, nerdy guy who wears slutty little glasses and wants to, ahem, reboot my router? Well, of course. But I’m also mature enough to admit that the part of me that’s still healing is unfortunately drawn to a brooding, conflicted, emotionally stunted, work-obsessed, well-dressed light skin man with a beard who has some sort of significant familial trauma (my therapist and I are actively working on this, don’t worry). And that’s Stiles, baby.

When watching the 8-episode series, I would be kicking my feet together, cheesin’, biting my lips, and quite literally have to pause the show to compose myself at times. Was my AC on? Why was it getting so steamy? This isn’t even a smile-y, giggly type of production! What was happening to me? I had to remind myself on several occasions that I am a professional and I simply cannot run to Matthew Law’s DMs and be disgustingly uncouth the way my ovulation hormones were convincing me to. But my God, those perpetually-furrowed thick brows. The subtle scowls. That perfectly groomed haircut. His saaviness and brilliance. That scene of him wearing his du-rag while polishing his gun. Phew! My body reflexively does a kegel just thinking about that man.

The show—and the fine-a** cast—has landed for many others, too. Nemesis has been planted in the Netflix Top 10 TV Shows banner since it dropped on May 14, and spent many weeks holding down the number one spot. Sure, have viewers critiqued the acting and heavy-handed LA dialect and lingo (not too much on my man, though, because I will fight about mine!), but that hasn’t stopped the people from tuning in and begging for a season 2.

Anyway, now I am in a much more steady hormonal state and able to think with my brain, yet here I am flying my freak flag for Matthew high as hell across the internet. So I guess, Matthew if you see this, don’t fall in love without me, okay? In the meantime, can someone please photoshop my face onto Janelle James’ body in these photos so I can manifest being hoisted in the air like that too? Thanks in advance!