[Spoilers ahead for the season finale of Euphoria.]

Okay, friends. The season (and likely series) finale of Euphoria has come and gone, and while there is much to discuss, the most devastating thing that happened is, without a doubt, the death of Zendaya’s Rue. In some ways, it seems that the whole series has been building to this (in fact, this isn’t even the first time we’ve asked “Is Rue dead?” during this season), but that doesn’t make it any less devastating.

While she’s staying with Ali, she takes what she thinks are painkillers for her wrist. We see her as she has a vision of Fezco escaping prison, a moment of a reunion with her mom, and of her hugging her dad. It’s then revealed that she has already died, and the whole sequence was a post-death dream montage for the viewer. Ali discovers her body. She’s still wearing her father’s hoodie.

Ali then spends the rest of the episode working to get revenge against Alamo.

While the story has always been about a person struggling with addiction, Rue spent much of the season clean and sober, turning to religion for comfort. The fans, of course, are crush by this, being especially blindsided by the fact that it happened halfway through the finale and not at the very end.

Rue wasn’t even the only character to die in the finale. The finale opened with Laurie’s death (not that sad, tbh), and this is also in the wake of Nate’s death in the penultimate episode. Brutal. Truly brutal.