Hello and welcome! We are gathered here today to talk about Pete Davidson’s dating history—a confusing and inexplicable sequence of events that can be best described as ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. As you’re probably aware, Pete has managed to find himself in multiple A-list relationships over the past several years—and now it seems he’s back on the market after reportedly splitting with his latest girlfriend, Elsie Hewitt, with whom he welcomed a child in December.

Though I don’t know whether the two will ever reconcile, I can provide a deep dive into Pete’s dating history, which is a deeply horny timeline that might shed some light on this whole thing. Starting with...

Pete first began dating model/actor Elsie Hewitt in March of last year, and by July, they announced that they were expecting their first child together. Cute!

Unfortunately, things didn’t last too long after that. Five months after welcoming Scottie, The Sun broke the news that the two had split, with a source for People later saying, “There have been points where they’ve split and have gotten back together… Pete and Elsie are working on things. They want one another to succeed and be happy.”

Time shall tell (especially since things have since gotten a bit messy…)

Us Weekly broke the news that Pete and Madelyn were dating in September 2023, with a source telling the outlet, “Pete and Madelyn are dating. They spent the night together at the Beverly Hills Hotel and then had breakfast together there the next morning. They were really low-key and kept things casual, wearing baseball hats.”

However, after flying pretty under the radar for a few months, the two ultimately called it quits by July 2024, with a source telling Entertainment Tonight that “Pete and Madelyn's relationship has been on and off for months and an ever-changing thing. Things have fizzled out and they are no longer seeing one another.” Whomp!

Pete and Chase (who starred in Bodies Bodies Bodies together) kicked off dating rumors when they were spotted at an NHL game back in December. According to ET at the time, “Pete and Chase have been spending a lot of time together and like each other a lot. They're both funny, so they laugh a lot together and their connection is natural.”

However, the couple broke up in August 2023, when a source told People, “He's single again. He's out and about and doing really well.”

Rumors about Pete and Emily first cropped up on Deuxmoi, when a tipster claimed they were spotted in Brooklyn and “his hands were allll over her.”

Not long after this, sources emerged confirming the rumors to both Us Weekly and People. Us Weekly's insider said, “Pete and Emily have been talking for a couple months now,” and described them as “really liking” each other, while People's simply noted they were “seeing each other.”

Alas, the relationship didn’t last, and toward the end of December a source told Entertainment Tonight that Pete and EmRata were “doing their own things.”

It all started when Kimberly and Pete were spotted holding hands at Knott’s Scary Farm in California, a truly shocking sight to the internet. Sure, sources who may or may not be named Kris Jenner tried to claim that the pair were just friends, but then Kim arrived in New York City (sorry, “Pete Davidson’s native New York City”) and found herself having a romantic dinner on Staten Island. The next night, she and Pete were spotted on another date and a source was out here telling E! News that “whatever is going on between them is exciting to her.”

Sadly, the couple called it quits in August 2022—right when we were all getting attached to them. Why, you ask? A source told E! News that long distance “made it really difficult to maintain a relationship.”

Phoebe and Pete started dating at the beginning of 2021, right at the height of Phoebe’s post-Bridgerton fame. The thing is, their relationship was long-distance—which at first worked just fine! Pete flew from his native New York City to Phoebe’s hometown in Manchester, she visited him stateside, and eventually they went public at Wimbledon in July. And by that I mean they were spotted kissing in the stands.

But guess long distance took its toll, because P&P broke up just a few months later in August. At the time, a source told The Sun that their “busy work schedules” made hanging out difficult and said, “It’s become increasingly obvious it is going to be difficult to make this work. Phoebe and Pete were last together in the UK in July but since he flew back to the States, he’s not seen her. People can’t just jump on planes and jet around the world when they want to. It has made everything more difficult. It was pretty telling when Phoebe headed to Croatia with her mates this week rather than going to see Pete in America.”

Dating rumors kicked off when Pete was seen leaving Kaia’s New York City apartment in October, although sources once again tried to claim they were “just friends.” Like, WE’RE NOT NEW HERE, SOURCES!

Anyway, these two were seen on several dates through November 2019, and an insider eventually told E! News, “Kaia and Pete are definitely in a romantic relationship. They have been friends for a while now and run in the same friend circle but became romantic recently. They started hanging out alone more often after meeting up in NYC in October. Kaia expressed she loved Pete’s personality. She thinks he is charming and is very intrigued.”

Pete vaguely hinted at the rumors about him and Kaia on SNL while talking to Colin Jost, saying, “Yeah, and it’s not fair, Colin. You get to date a famous woman and everyone’s delighted, but when I do it, the world wants to punch me in the throat—what’d I do? If I’m your type of guy that your daughter—or mother—is into, then trust me, I’m the best-case scenario. There are a million guys who look like me and I’m the only one with a job. It’s like me or Tyga.”

Anyway, they were over by January 2020, so moving on!

Us Weekly broke the news that Pete and Margaret were a ~thing~ in August 2019, and apparently, she was super into him, with a source saying, “They’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months and Margaret is really excited about him.”

Pete was even seen sitting behind Margaret at the Venice Film Festival premiere of her movie Seberg, pretty much confirming reports.

Then in September 2019, Margaret’s mom, Andie MacDowell, told People that she and Pete have “a beautiful relationship,” which was awk because they broke up in October, lol.

These two were first linked after leaving a Golden Globes after-party together, when a source told Page Six, “They were flirting all night and sipping champagne.” Delightful! And it didn’t take them long to go public, by which I mean they were spotted making out at a hockey game, traumatizing Queer Eye’s Antoni in the process.

BTW, they spent a lot of time being trolled, which Kate was not having:

And Pete even went on SNL to hit back at everyone worried about their age difference, saying, “Oh, yeah! Apparently, people have a crazy fascination with our age difference, but it doesn’t really bother us. But then again, I’m new to this. So if you have questions about a relationship with a big age difference, just ask Leonardo DiCaprio, Jason Statham, Michael Douglas, Richard Gere….”

He makes POINTS, but alas, this relationship ended in April—when a source told Entertainment Tonight that Pete and Kate were “still friendly but are not on romantic terms.”

I’m already exhausted, but here we go: Ariana and Pete were first linked in May 2018, when a source told People that he was chilling by her side after the Billboard Music Awards, saying, “After Ariana’s performance, they were backstage and he had his arm around her. They seemed very lovey-dovey. He was hanging out with her and her friends with his arm around her. She seemed quite smitten.”

And then things escalated. Quickly.

Ariana and Pete ended up getting engaged by June and spent much of the summer moving in together, getting matching tattoos, wandering around NYC, and drinking Starbucks:

Also, this happened:

But alas, the relationship wasn’t built to last, and Pete and Ari parted ways in October 2018, when a source told TMZ that things ended with “both parties acknowledging that it simply was not the right time for their relationship to take off” and “things are over romantically.”

Not a ton is known about Pete and Cazzie’s relationship, but we do know they broke up in May 2018—right before Pete started dating Ari. Pete confirmed the split at the time, saying, “We’re not together anymore” and noting that Cazzie is a “very talented girl, she’ll be great and she’ll be fine. Yeah, I think she’ll be okay.”

Cazzie was obviously JUST FINE but later confirmed that Pete dumped her via text...which, not cool.

Guess there’s nothing left to say but…thank u, next.