It goes without saying: Lisa Vanderpump is one of the most iconic women to grace our television screens. She’s also a bit of a hospitality maven thanks to her many restaurant ventures. In West Hollywood, there’s SUR, which acted as the backdrop of her namesake series Vanderpump Rules, and TomTom, named after the show’s stars and co-owners, Tom Schwartz and Tom Sandoval. Lake Tahoe and Scottsdale are each home to Wolf by Vanderpump, and Las Vegas boasts three eateries providing sugary-sweet cocktails and elevated light bites: Vanderpump Cocktail Garden, Vanderpump à Paris, and Pinky’s by Vanderpump. All that, mixed with several reality shows chronicling the chaotic energy that goes on behind the scenes of each business, still wasn’t enough for Lisa—she wanted to come home with her guests after wining and dining them.

Hence, her kitschy, industrial, and luxurious first-ever hotel was born when she teamed up with Caesars Entertainment to remodel The Cromwell and give it a new life as The Vanderpump Hotel.

After a weeklong stay on the fabulous property, I can confidently say it has all the campiness you’ve been craving. It’s the closest thing we’ll get to The Diva, Deborah Vance’s boutique Vegas hotel on Hacks, in real life—and I mean that as the highest compliment.

“We don’t put enough emphasis on the feel-good factor that we need when we check out of our own life and into a hotel, and that’s what this is,” Lisa tells Cosmopolitan from the penthouse suite of her new digs, before cheekily asking, “Aren’t we supposed to be talking about, like, orgasms?” It’s not an entirely far-fetched idea, since Cosmo’s iconic coverlines over the years have discussed everything from foreplay to polyamory. If that’s what you’re here for, Lisa reassures that “after 43 years [of marriage], I’ve figured it out.”

According to the restaurateur, guests “finally get to sleep” with her after all these years—in the sense that they get to stay at the Vanderpump Hotel, of course.

“It’s a unique experience when you walk around, and it’s also very personal, couture, and boutique. And you’re right in the middle of the bloody strip. We’re in the perfect spot, really,” she adds.

Located at the corner of Las Vegas Boulevard and Flamingo Road, the space is undeniably Vanderpump, from the several nods to her British heritage to the massive statue of her late Pomeranian, Giggy, in the lobby’s bar and lounge. To her point, it’s easy to ignore the cigarette smoke and slot machines when you’re surrounded by glimmering chandeliers and gothic fixtures.

The place was rich with reality TV history before she even set foot on the property. Soleia, the 65,000-square-foot rooftop pool where she hosted her ultra-glam grand opening party on June 11, served as the temporary Villa for Love Island USA’s second season.

After I drank my body weight in Pumptinis and dodged two camera crews throughout the premises—one for Hulu and one for Bravo, I was told—reality stars past and present made their way to the purple carpet for Lisa’s grand opening.

Some of the girls from RuPaul’s Drag Race, along with Sharon Osbourne and Lance Bass, pulled up to the party while former Vanderpump Rules stars like Tom Sandoval, Tom Schwartz, James Kennedy, and Lala Kent, along with fresher faces from the show’s latest season, showed up to support their girl Lisa. Of course, Marciano Brunette showed up with The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives’ Jessi Draper on his arm for the occasion after a chic dinner at Pinky’s across the street at the Flamingo.

As for which Bravolebrities Lisa would trust with an unfiltered review of her first-ever hotel?

“Schwartz is always very supportive. Garcel [Beauvais, from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills] loves the good life, like me. She’s a lady, you know,” she tells Cosmo. “There’s quite a few of them I would trust, and there’s quite a few of them I wouldn’t, let’s be honest,” she adds, confirming that they wouldn’t be coming to the hotel anytime soon.

Never change, Lisa!