In the 21st century, a woman can map the human genome, lead a boardroom, or draft national policy. Yet, upon returning home, her entire intellectual and professional worth is often reduced to a single, archaic litmus test: Can she cook? Can she draw a kolam? Can she string flowers? Society loves to congratulate itself on “allowing” women into the workforce, but the yardstick we use to measure them remains rusted and stuck in the past. We have created a world where women are expected to conquer the public sphere while remaining perfectly submissive to the private one. We don’t just want women to succeed; we demand they succeed twice.

I was recently reminded of this absurdity during a casual visit from a relative. When I admitted I didn’t know how to string flowers, the response wasn’t a shrug - it was a sarcastic, disappointed barb: “Don’t be proud of that.” In that one sentence, my degrees, my research, and my professional labor evaporated. I wasn’t a person with a career; I was a “failure” of a woman because I lacked a specific, decorative domestic skill. The irony? This judgment often comes from other women, the primary enforcers of a patriarchal code that serves no one.