For a long time, I didn’t enjoy going to weddings. It wasn’t the celebration or the party that put me off – it was the clothes. I felt I had to conform and wear a suit, and yet the shape and style of what was on offer were the antithesis of what I would normally wear.

Wedding guest attire for women is a whole micro-industry these days. But men are still stuck in the dark ages. It’s all grey, navy and black suits. I often see men wearing the same sort of suit they might wear to a funeral. What kind of message is that sending? It’s high time we got to experiment because a wedding is a celebration of love. You don’t want to look like you’re in mourning.

If it’s a summer wedding – and given it’s August, this is why we’re here – then suit-wise you should absolutely go for a relaxed cut and a different colour than you’re used to. Try approaching things as if you were going to southern Puglia for a location wedding. Maybe a pale blue or green suit, or a jacket with a dropped shoulder and a wider leg. Loose clothing is also going to keep you cooler, so if anyone raises an eyebrow you can always just blame the heat.

The jacket and trousers don’t even have to match in colour and shape. Once you understand which colours go well together – I like pale green and cream, or brown and blue – you can think about the jacket and trousers as complementary items rather than matchy matchy. As long as you’re wearing a shirt, you’ll look smart enough. Just avoid white if you can help it. A light blue or light green shirt is a great way to introduce colour without being too much.

Fabric-wise, pure linen looks gorgeous, but it’s highly susceptible to creasing. If you’re going to be sitting down a lot, by the time you get to the photos you’ll look as if you’ve been through a tumble dryer. Natural fibres such as cotton or a cotton-linen mix will help keep you cool, and personally, I find cotton suits to be very robust if it’s a whole day thing. But I don’t care how hot it is, shorts are never OK.

The details are where it’s at, for me – I love a vintage watch or a bold sock, or a pair of sunglasses tucked into a pocket. But I have lots of little rules about how they’re put together. If your trousers aren’t hitting your shoes, they’re too short. A sockless man is the ultimate ick for me, but at the same time, don’t be dull. Have fun with your socks. Use them as an accessory. I like Happy Socks and Uniqlo because they come in varied colours.

What else? I love a shoe with a tiny heel. I don’t mean stilettos, just a Cuban heel, or loafers raised a centimetre. Your whole posture changes when you have a bit of height – your shoulders go back, your back straightens. No hats, unless you need to for medical reasons. Just put some SPF on, stay in the shade and wear sunglasses (remember to take them off for the photos). I’m pretty easy when it comes to wearing a tie, and prefer something vintage, but I also like a bolo tie or even a brooch where the top button is. Going tie-less might seem a bit casual to some people, but if it’s warm you can just put it down to the weather again.

Finally, and this might be controversial, normalise men carrying bags. When you’re having your photos taken at a wedding, I don’t want to see your wallet bulging out your pocket, or your phone. It doesn’t have to be fancy. A small leather purse which you can leave at the table while you’re dancing is just the thing.

Buying a whole new suit isn’t something everyone can do (although Vinted has great secondhand options). But you can dress the one you have in a hundred different ways if the accoutrements are right. It’s the little things that can make an outfit really sing.

Styling: Sam Deaman. Stylist’s assistant: Charlotte Gornall. Grooming by Alice Theobald at Arlington Artists using Stila and Trilogy. Blazer, £14.99, and brooch, £7.99, Oxfam. Shirt, £265, King & Tuckfield. Vintage Christian Dior tie, £65, Rokit. Vintage Gucci trousers, £300, ralphachino on Vinted. Boots, £350, Phix