Creating a highly parallel and flexible discrete element software requires an interdisciplinary approach, where expertise from different disciplines is combined. On the one hand domain specialists provide interaction models between particles. On the other hand high-performance computing specialists optimize the code to achieve good performance on different hardware architectures. In particular, the software must be carefully crafted to achieve good scaling on massively parallel supercomputers. Combining all this in a flexible and extensible, widely usable software is a challenging task. In this article we outline the design decisions and concepts of a newly developed particle dynamics code MESA-PD that is implemented as part of the waLBerla multi-physics framework. Extensibility, flexibility, but also performance and scalability are primary design goals for the new software framework. In particular, the new modular architecture is designed such that physical models can be modified and extended by domain scientists without understanding all details of the parallel computing functionality and the underlying distributed data structures that are needed to achieve good performance on current supercomputer architectures. This goal is achieved by combining the high performance simulation framework waLBerla with code generation techniques. All code and the code generator are released as open source under GPLv3 within the publicly available waLBerla framework (www.walberla.net).