I probably wouldn’t be Summer House-literate at all if it weren’t for the noble intervention of my Vogue colleagues Irene Kim and Florence O’Connor, who dragged me into the light right around the time that the Ciara/Amanda/West imbroglio first went public. Now, though, I’ve watched all 10 (!) seasons, I’m deeply locked in, and I’m ready to seat myself for the Andy Cohen-helmed postgame. Below, find every single thought I had about Part 1 of the Summer House reunion.

1. I wonder how much of a reality TV producer’s job is just reassuring whoever’s on camera that her lips look great.
2. Lindsay is very real for worrying about her pit stains.
3. Oh, hello, Kyle.
4. When a Notes-app-apology Instagram post is reposted on a Bravo post-show…that’s when you know shit is getting good.
5. “None of this makes sense! It’s all not what happened.” Speak on it, Lindsay.
6. Not the three-way call with Jesse and Mia!
7. Oop, Carl too.
8. West and Amanda sharing a dressing room is crazy.
9. I mean, I guess it’s not that crazy, but what a way to hard-launch!
10. I do like the way Amanda says “corset.”
11. Cor-sette!
12. “Who do you feel more betrayed by?”
13. God, Andy is such a messy bitch who lives for drama.
14. Then again, that’s basically his official job title.
15. Ciara in the revenge dress! Yes! Yes!!!!!
16. Butter yellow mentioned.
17. Granted, Amanda wearing it probably isn’t great PR for the color…
18. God, I hate West.
19. Oh, shit, I forgot about the leaked-nudes thing.
20. That shouldn’t happen to anyone, even unkempt cheaters.
21. Indeed, remember when it seemed like Kyle was going to be the reunion-show villain?
22. “I’m glad you could say our name this time.” Get her again, Ciara!
23. We love a Rihanna name-check!
24. KJ talking about “fraudulent activity”…okay, Citibank.
25. Ciara is so mad, and she deserves to be!!!
26. “I had an awakening”…ugh, Amanda.
27. “I don’t see your man sticking up for you now, huh?”
28. I am shook!
29. WEST SECRET GIRLFRIEND?
30. The concept of this many women vying for West is somewhat sickening to me.
31. Him?!?
32. “Did a PR person help you with that statement?”
33. LOL.
34. Amanda is a snake in the grass, I’m sorry.
35. Okay, well, none of us should be sharing locations.
36. Except for my friends who share their locations with me! I love you! I like knowing you’re safe at home after we go out!
37. Why am I just noticing the violent pinkness of Andy’s suit?
38. Okay, I’m kind of rocking with Levi’s wildly sparkly green dress.
39. I don’t really care about this non-love-triangle stuff, to be honest.
40. “I had been in a plant costume for three hours, I was very hot and dehydrated.”
41. LMAO.
42. “Why does this guy only pop off on women?” Amazing question.
43. Not West lining up to throw Ben under the bus…hello, deflection!
44. Aw, KJ :(
45. This poor sweetie!
46. I’m glad he has support, especially from Ciara.
47. That is…more about Kyle’s earlobe and how it relates to his sex life than I strictly needed to know.
48. And that’s a wrap! Can’t wait for more of this mess next week!