In a post-pandemic world filled with war, a contentious political climate and social media doomscrolling, it’s safe to say that nerves are collectively shot.

You could throw away your phone and hide. Or, you could go on a nervous system vacation.

At some hotels, amenities include not only plush digs and a glittering pool but the promise of a full nervous system reset. Think targeted massages, breathwork classes, nerve toning sessions — and in the case of one retreat, a consultation with a concierge physician. 

It’s an enticing promise given that the nervous system manages how we move, think and feel. Core to it is the vagus nerve, which is the body’s longest cranial nerve running from the brain to the large intestine.

It’s responsible for regulating breath, digestion, heart rate, the immune system and even our emotional responses. 

If the nerve is “toned,” the body can more easily shift from a stressed, sympathetic fight-or-flight state back to a relaxed, parasympathetic one. It’s not a physical toning like six-pack abs — in this context, toned simply means that the vagus nerve is more effective at activating the body’s calming response.

If it’s not toned… well, you won’t feel so hot.

“There’s about 80,000 nerves that go one way and 80,000 that go back the other, and they’re like strings. Together, it’s a big orchestra, and we want it all to play in harmony,” Colleen Inman, wellness curator for Castle Hot Springs, a luxury all-inclusive resort located in Arizona’s Sonoran Desert, told The Post. 

“When it’s playing in unison, we feel calm and resilient; we’re able to adapt. If it’s out of tone, you’re going to be screaming at the traffic in front of you.” 

Castle Hot Springs is one of a handful of hotels offering services targeting the nervous system, and the vagus nerve, specifically. 

Intrigued — and frazzled, as a working parent of two preschool-age kids — I decided to flip my own switch at Castle Hot Springs. I soaked in mineral-rich waters, ate farm-to-table fare, hiked, joined a sound bath, and took Inman’s private one-hour vagus nerve toning session, which incorporated acupressure points, breath and soundwork, tuning forks, and meditation.

Her techniques, she explained, would strengthen the push and pull of both the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous system. 

Afterwards, I felt at ease. But Inman was quick to remind me that my effects were being compounded by my collective experience at the hotel.

“All of this is a big vagus nerve toning place,” she said, gesturing to the hotel around us. “Just looking at nature augments your nervous system because our biology comes from nature. And then usually, individuals also attend yoga, meditation, a sound bath, they get a spa treatment, they take a farm tour or a hike. This is a cherry on the top.”

I did most of those things, and left feeling calmer than I had in months. For the next two weeks, stressful traffic didn’t make me flinch, and neither did my kids’ tantrums. Eventually though, my anxious nerves reverted back to their old ways. 

Turns out, that was on me. “You have to continuously work at it,” Inman said. 

Heather Luna, who leads a class called “The Nervous System Reset” for guests of Juniper Preserve, Golf and Wellness Resort in Bend, Oregon, agreed.

“Think about the gym. You can go to the gym one time and lift weights and you might be sore. But if you don’t keep going, you’re not going to feel stronger,” Luna said. “So just like we tone our muscles, we can tone our vagal nerves.”

Luna’s hour-long class is offered weekly to hotel guests for $25. It utilizes Kundalini-inspired pranayama breathwork to calm the stress response and restore internal balance. 

“Our breath is the only part of our autonomic nervous system that can be controlled. We can’t control body temperature or tell your belly and internal organs, ‘Digest my food faster,” Luna said.’ 

“But when you choose to control your breath, you affect all those other aspects of your autonomic nervous system. Over time, it can help lower cortisol, improve focus, and create the physiological conditions for positive emotions to flourish.”

Breathwork is an integral part of both Inman and Luna’s classes. Elsewhere, reset packages look different. 

At the Four Seasons Los Cabos at Costa Palmas, for example, guests may book a 90-minute Vagus Nerve Toning Massage for approximately $613, while the Bvlgari Hotel London provides a two-hour treatment dubbed The Wandering Journey for €400 that uses breath, essential oils and a full body massage to enhance wellbeing.

Then there’s Nobu Ryokan Malibu. The 16-room hotel offers one of the most comprehensive hotel-based nervous system retreats available. Led in partnership with CURE Wellness, a Malibu-based members-only concierge medical and wellness center, the Brain and Nervous System Reset package spans an entire day and costs $3,000 on top of Nobu’s nightly rate. 

It includes an IV drip infusion, a medical massage and tests like QEEG brain mapping, cognitive evaluation, neurofeedback therapy, as well as a one-on-one consultation with a physician, most of which can be done in a hotel room.

“There’s a huge movement right now to make sure your nervous system is regulated and stable in order for all of your organs to function,” said Dr. Lisa Benya, a board-certified internal medicine physician, who co-founded CURE, “The goal behind this program is making sure it’s balanced and regulated and sending the right signals everywhere that it needs to.” 

The choice to offer these services in a hotel was not by coincidence.

“Nobu was set up to be a place for calming and healing. The intimate nature, so few rooms, the location on the ocean — it isn’t about socializing, or huge pools, or a lot of activities. Most people go to recharge personally,” Dr. Benya said. “This approach to wellness has people really valuing their health, taking time away from life, and going somewhere and making it intentional.”

At the end of the program, guests receive a medical plan based on their results, which can be carried out remotely by CURE, or shared with existing providers. 

“One day is good for dipping your toe in the ocean per se, but to make a lasting change, that’s really what we’re about. We want you to sample things that we can customize and execute when you go home,” Dr. Benya said.

But is shelling out hundreds, perhaps thousands of dollars necessary to achieve inner bliss? It depends.

“You don’t necessarily have to spend money on a spa hotel,” said Dr. Mill Etienne, MD, professor of neurology and medicine at New York Medical College. “You can go for a walk in the forest where you’re around nature. You can sit at home and listen to quiet music. You can do deep breathing on your own. All of that is going to activate your parasympathetic nervous system.”

Spas, he said, cannot physically reboot your nerves in the same way you’d restart a faulty electronic device. There’s also no definitive way to confirm results.

“There’s not an actual measurement we have for the vagus nerve. We don’t have a way for people to go in and take it and measure it,” Dr. Etienne said. “There are proxies you could use. It might be your heart rate, breathing rate, how much respiration you’re doing in a minute. All these things are markers of relaxation and your body just being in overall good health.” 

At the same time, some individuals may find major advantages by opting into hotel-based services. 

“I might say to a patient, ‘All you need to do is diet and exercise.’ Well, easier said than done,” said Dr. Etienne.

“The patient might not know how to do that. They might benefit from a nutritionist or a trainer. It’s the same with wellness. Some people don’t know how to relax and have trouble unplugging. Going into a space where they’ll get attention from people who are focused on this area can help them to learn those basic skills.”

The key, Dr. Etienne underscores, echoes advice dolled out by Inman, Luna, and Dr. Benya: continue what you’ve learned after check-out.

“If you have the money and can afford something like this, I don’t have any problems with giving it a try, but it’s not a one and done,” Dr. Etienne said. “It’s the first step towards that wellness journey and I encourage people to explore these different modalities because you’ll live longer if you can actually learn how to do these things long-term for your body.”