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A 12-year-old girl and her mother lost their lives last week. As a society, we are still struggling to process this tragedy. While we must not speculate about the specifics of this family, the incident forces us to confront something we too often overlook: the mental health of parents.

A child and adolescent psychiatric epidemiological survey published in 2025 shows that 24.4 per cent of Hong Kong children aged 6-17 have at least one mental disorder within a year, with depression affecting 10 per cent and anxiety 7.8 per cent of secondary students. Crucially, the study found that elevated parental depression and anxiety scores were associated with a significantly higher chance of child anxiety, depression, ADHD and disruptive behaviour. In other words, when parents are suffering, their children are much more likely to suffer too.

None of this is surprising if we listen carefully to parents in Hong Kong. The stressors they shoulder are intense and cumulative. Long working hours, job insecurity, high cost of living, and limited workplace flexibility leave many parents chronically exhausted. In dual-income households, time scarcity and work-family conflict are pervasive. Many are also caring for ageing grandparents at the same time – the classic “sandwich generation” – intensifying role overload.

The competitive academic performance culture can shift parents into the role of performance managers rather than emotional companions to their development. Underpinning all of this are strong cultural expectations around parental sacrifice; they reinforce the tendency to prioritise children’s outcomes over parents’ own psychological needs.

However, the data suggest this sacrifice is not sustainable. When parents feel persistently overwhelmed, the emotional climate at home suffers. Children absorb this atmosphere; some may develop anxiety or low mood, or act out.