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New Zealand’s North Island braces for Cyclone Vaianu with thousands ordered to evacuate Artemis II splashdown – in pictures Swalwell denies allegations of sexual assault as calls grow for him to withdraw from California governor race Trump news at a glance: Epstein survivors have words for Melania Trump after surprise statement Multiple people face charges, including murder, in California fireworks blast Rory McIlroy surges into six-shot Masters lead with stunning second-round flourish Roberto De Zerbi targets ‘Ange-ball’ revival to save Spurs from relegation Bath hit back to reach semi-final after stunning Northampton in 11-try epic Australia crash out of BJK Cup after Britain secure upset with doubles win Zebras, wealth and power: Hungary’s election tests Orbán’s grip on power ‘TikTok effect’ brings sellout crowds and younger fans to Grand National meeting King signs up David Beckham to his Chelsea flower show team The war over Omagh’s gold: the £21bn mine plan tearing a community apart Britain’s shadow workforce is paid as little as 65p an hour. Who cares for the carers? Tim Dowling: my wife is on a quest to restore my thinning hair SUVs are making Britain’s potholes worse, say scientists Blind date: ‘She claimed she was usually shy. I wouldn’t have guessed’ I’m a sauna person now: the Becky Barnicoat cartoon ‘I got everything I dreamed of – when I had no ability to handle it’: Lena Dunham on toxic fame, broken friendships and her ‘lost decade’ Six great reads: the man who let snakes bite him, masked heavy metal and the brutal reality for foreign students in the UK Meera Sodha’s recipe for noodles with rose beancurd, spring greens and egg Cuba’s doctors were a lifeline for the world. Now the Caribbean is shamefully complicit in the US drive to expel them An environmental disaster in Moldova has Russia’s fingerprints all over it ‘This is as important as your teeth’: are you skipping this key part of mouth hygiene? Man arrested after four die trying to cross Channel in small boat Ukraine war briefing: doubts linger in Kyiv over Moscow’s promise to uphold Orthodox Easter ceasefire Ichiro Suzuki statue unveiling goes awry as bronze bat snaps during ceremony Arrest of national war hero Ben Roberts-Smith cuts deeply to core of Australian psyche European football: Real Madrid held at home by Girona to extend winless run ‘You come back different’: how rugby players change after motherhood
My son is getting glasses for the first time. He’s fine a...
Stuart Heritage · 2026-04-16 · via The Guardian

This afternoon, I will take my son to the optician to pick up his first pair of glasses. He is entirely unfazed by this new chapter. I, on the other hand, am a mess.

Between the ages of five and 36 (at which point, fed up with sticky toddler fingerprints smeared across my glasses, I had laser treatment), I was wildly shortsighted. So shortsighted that, even with the thinnest available lenses, I still looked like a boy with a pair of jam jars strapped to his face. And while there is obviously nothing wrong with wearing glasses, I am acutely aware of the effect they can have on a young person.

There is a chance that my son’s next few years will involve constantly lending his glasses to his classmates so they can put them on and laugh at how weird they feel. Or taking them off to go swimming, transforming every pool into a blurry screaming nightmare. He will have to relearn how to head a football. He will eventually have to learn to kiss people without getting smudged. And then, 25 years from now, he will attend the Guardian Christmas telethon after getting an infection from a dirty contact lens, and his giant weepy eye will visibly distress the esteemed columnist sitting opposite him. There is a chance that I may be projecting that last one a bit.

He will also be forced to decide how best to demonstrate his personality to the world. Those with perfect eyesight will struggle to understand this, but the message you send about yourself if you wear a pair of stern-looking, frameless Sven-Göran Erikssons is vastly different from what you send if you go out looking like Timmy Mallett. That’s a big choice to make at any time, let alone pre-puberty.

Clearly, I am overthinking this. He is going to be fine. My first pair of glasses, chosen in a fog of embarrassment, were designed to make me as invisible as possible. I’ve already had to talk him down from a livid-green pair of Prue Leith whoppers. I wore my glasses timidly and reluctantly, but he is far happier to make a spectacle of himself. Good for him.