From my notebook:

Brains are pattern recognition machines.

I seek structure, sometimes meta-structure.

I try to structure how I structure things.

Projects, stories and adventures often only become apparent when they are in the past.

They evolve naturally, organically. Starting a project can result in something completely different. Is there a structure in that?

I am trying to find structure again.

Life is chaotic, and that's okay.

I had this on my mind for quite some time. I'm trying to cope with chaos in my life. I like chaos, and I like turning chaos into order. But often, that does not work and I get frustrated.

Projects - no matter if programming, writing, planning an event or woodworking - are inherently chaotic. There is no structure in the concept of a "project". I want to think of a project as the sum of threads of actions towards a goal, and life is the sum of every project you ever started. I try to find a way to capture and grasp these "threads" - like commits on different branches of a code repository. On projects other than programming, this utterly fails.

I have to keep telling myself to be fine with the fact that life does not follow a structure. My personal takeaway is learning to recognize when I am seeking structure as a response to anxiety vs. when I'm doing it because it's actually useful.

Am I alone with this? Does this resonate with anyone out there? I'd love to hear from you.

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