A teacher accused of murdering a baby he was adopting told how when told of the infant’s death, he grabbed a cross off a hospital windowsill and ‘begged the Lord not to take him’.

Jamie Varley, 37, said medical staff initially said 13-month-old Preston Davey had been put on a ventilator ‘but in what felt like two minutes, they were back in the (relatives’) room telling us he had passed away'.

Varley, on trial at Preston Crown Court, told jurors he ran from the room at Blackpool Victoria Hospital and down a corridor to try to find the infant.

He said: ‘I remember seeing a cross on the windowsill. I remember grabbing that cross, asking the Lord not to take him, begging him.’

Varley was filmed in police bodycam footage at the hospital repeatedly saying the death was ‘my fault’.

The prosecution alleges Preston died after his airways were blocked during a serious sexual assault on the afternoon of July 27, 2023.

But he repeated his explanation that Preston had drowned after falling from his bathchair into the water as he took a shower and then left the room to get dressed.

Varley, who was at home alone at the time while his partner John McGowan-Fazakerley was on his way home from work, said: ‘I believed it was my fault through walking out of the bathroom. I felt it was my fault, I caused it.’

Asked how he now feels about Preston’s death by his barrister, Nicholas Johnson K.C., the secondary school head of year said: ‘I feel we’ve not been given time to grieve. I feel we’re still looking for our answers.

‘I know their (the prosecution’s) accusations and view is wrong. It couldn’t be further from the truth.’

Varley, breaking down, paused then said: ‘I’m lost for words.’

The prosecution has said an autopsy showed no evidence Preston had drowned but that he died from being ‘smothered’ and also suffered serious internal injuries.

Mr Johnson asked Varley: ‘What would you say to the suggestion the bath event is made up?’

Varley said: ‘Absolutely not. It’s ridiculous that conclusion would be drawn. There’d be no reason to make such things up.’

The court heard Varley’s account of July 27, 2023, the day Preston died, including how Preston was taken to his mother Karen Graham’s house while Varley and McGowan-Fazakerley went to see a mortgage adviser.

Varley then collected Preston, who he witnessed being sick repeatedly through the day, firstly at breakfast, then when he went to collect the baby from Mrs Graham’s house.

‘He threw up all down my mum and down myself’, Varley said.

He told how his mother cleaned up and he took Preston back to the home he shared with McGowan-Fazakerley in Blackpool.

After arriving home at about 3pm, Varley said he initially put Preston on a playmat as he prepared a bottle of formula milk.

Varley said he also cleaned up after the couple’s dog, which had been left alone for several hours.

He described how ‘fifteen towels’ had been put down as they had recently had new flooring put in.

Varley said Preston struggled to sleep, so he put him on the couple’s bed, where he also sat using his mobile phone.

At one point, Varley played a three-minute song to Preston to ‘relax him’.

Mr Johnson then asked Varley to explain the first of three ‘activity gaps’ when he was not on his phone – for seven minutes and 51 seconds, soon after 4.30pm.

The barrister asked: ‘Did you abuse, physically or sexually, Preston during those seven minutes?

Varley replied ‘no’. He said he ‘nodded off’ and was woken when the dog licked his face.

‘I noticed Preston having a seizure on the bed when I woke up,’ he said.

Varley said it ‘felt like less than a minute’. He said he took a SnapChat video of the poorly baby to send to his friend to ask for advice.

Earlier in the trial, a paediatrician told the court Preston appeared to be in a ‘critical’ condition in the video and needed to be resuscitated.

But Varley said: ‘If I felt he was going to deteriorate, there would have been no question in my mind, I would have taken him to hospital.’

At about 4.50pm, Varley then exchanged messages with his partner about the sale of a kayak before going onto SnapChat again at 5.03pm, the court heard.

There were then two further ‘activity gaps’ totalling almost half an hour, apart from brief activity on an email app at 5.17pm, Mr Johnson said.

Asked what he was doing in the gaps, Varley claimed he ‘sang Preston a couple of songs’ and was ‘pottering around’. ‘There wasn’t much distinctive that I was doing. Preston was alright, he was improving’, Varley said.

Varley then described the incident where he said Preston fell off his bath chair into the water.

He said he had put 2-2.5ins of water in the bath and had a shower in an adjacent glass cubicle.

After briefly going into his bedroom to put on a t-shirt and pyjama bottoms, Varley said he returned to find Preston lying on his side in the water.

‘My legs felt like jelly’, he said.

Varley told how he ‘scooped’ Preston out of the water as he ‘gasped for air’.

He described how he rubbed the baby’s stomach and tapped his back, before Preston repeatedly vomited.

Varley was asked why no water was found in the bath on a later examination of the house – but he said he may have ‘panicked’ and opened the plug.

He said he changed Preston into a new nappy and fresh babygrow. He tried to get Preston’s attention by making clicking noises with his mouth and moving the chandelier in the baby’s room.

Varley said he then had to change Preston’s nappy for a second time and he ‘threw up’.

The teacher said he put Preston on the floor and he continued to throw up – ‘there was so much sick he couldn’t catch his breath’.

Varley said he was ‘hitting his back’ to try to help him recover.

As Varley said he tried to help the infant, the dog’s barking alerted him to McGowan-Fazakerley’s return just before 6.30pm – and he had to leave Preston to ‘run downstairs’ and let him in as he had left a key in the door lock.

Varley then said he ‘screamed to John for help’. His partner wanted to call an ambulance but Varley said it would be quicker to go to hospital by car.

McGowan-Fazakerley drove as barefooted Varley, who said he didn’t even stop to put shoes on, attempted CPR ‘three or four times’.

Varley described Preston as ‘very floppy’ and ‘really hard to hold’ as he fought to save him.

Secondary school head of year and textiles teacher Varley denies charges of murder, manslaughter, indecent assault, GBH by breaking Preston's elbow, cruelty and making and sharing indecent images.

McGowan-Fazakerley, a sales rep, denies causing or allowing the death of a child, indecent assault and cruelty.

The trial continues.