And here we stumble across my entire personality.

Let's look at my blog as an example:

I started it almost 6 years ago because I knew at some point I would want to have a fandom and I want to interact with that fandom

I knew that, as a black queer person, "making it" as an artist was worse than "not guaranteed", there would be people actively working against me and doing everything they could to steal my ideas and leave me like so many of these people on the streets

It's still happening. People still steal my ideas. Sooooooooo SO much of the internet and the world is shaped after people who had a week worth of conversations with me 3 years ago, took what I said I wanted to do, ran with it but had better resources and connections, and now it looks like the idea was theirs. I literally can't talk to anyone fucking ever if I want any of my ideas to be mine.

Anyway back to the blog

The blog is also here as a receipt. A ledger of things I've talked about and when I talked about them. That ledger both lives in people's heads and is searchable as long as the fucks that run this site keep it that way.

It's also here so that SOMEONE in this world will listen to me. I've lived in white societies my entire adult life. One thing I've learned is that yall don't trust each other and you don't trust history that you can't look up and verify with your own eyes. And every person in those societies thinks they're special and the only person to ever hear something and sometimes giving them the perspective that "this happened 6 years ago and a lot of people knew about it, here's proof. I'm just telling you about it now" helps a lot in making sure I keep myself credible.

Helps me connect with people, helps me build a base of readers, helps me maintain credibility, helps me show that certain ideas are mine.... oh yeah and this blog helps me point out injustices to an audience that cares

If I tried to do any of that shit here in Molde people would treat me like a fucking tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist moron with delusions of grandeur and a tendency to ramble

This society would have thrown my black ass in the trash YEARS ago. But because I've got MULTIPLE places all over the fucking internet where I'm doing the same thing: establishing credibility, establishing history, creating a reader base, showing off my ideas, keeping receipts, and helping create justice in the world for other people

Because I'm doing that all over the place, it's much much more possible for me to actually fucking exist in this stupid fucking world we live in and try to make the world smarter and better for other people like me.

AND THAT'S JUST THE BLOG

This blog is like 0.5% of what I have to do to try to protect myself

Because

ANYONE can be discarded by society

It's also why I try to be fucking GOOD all the time too. Because this FUCKING society will discard you for saying something fucking distasteful too.

So I'm constantly treading this thin, wavering line toward a moving target while people push against me and steal my best ideas. This is the BEST I've ever been able to expect. Until lately when there have started to be people who actually support me. That's a beautiful thing.

But I absolutely fucking do not take it for granted