calamity-corner : calamity-corner : idk i don’t have the patience i once had for dumb takes on tumblr. hi! i’m autstic, and it’s not fucking ableist to say “hey if you want to be my friend you have to treat me like a friend” i just don’t really have the patience to see girls willfully misinterpreting a bunch of other trans women who are saying “hello young girls in my community! i too am traumatized and neurodivergent and mentally ill, and i know that making friends is hard! but if i’m trying to be your friend and engage with you and the best you can give me is small talk or barks then we’re not going to be able to develop a closer connection, if you care about me then at some point you have to try to engage with me like a person that you care about!” this is something i had to learn and practice, and it’s something you’ll have to learn and practice too. and nobody is shaming anyone, this isn’t about “cringe” or fucking “assimilation” (don’t make me laugh), and i’m sorry but the girls taking issue with this are kinda the young girls in question. i get that it’s hard, and scary, and i get that it’s easier to keep relying on self-isolating trauma responses forever, but you will not ever be less alone or sad if you do. growth is often more painful than stagnation in the short term, but stagnation will kill you. and your sisters are here to help you! we care about you, we want to be your friends, you just need to also try , girl. This right here. I think of a lot of this as growing pains in a community. There are a lot of young people here and there are lies being thrown around left right and center. One group says the only way to be a good trans girl is to be an island because no one has a story exactly like yours and to invite others in is to change your story and then you’re no longer you One group says the only way to be a good trans girl is to fall to your knees and worship men. Oh wait no worship women. Oh wait worship black people.. no no people of the Muslim faith… oh whatever just be someone’s slave Another group says if you’re not standing up screaming at the top of your lungs 24/7 then you’re letting the capitalists win. They all want to turn us against each other and the only way not to let them win is to constantly keep fighting all the time forever Another group says you’re not valid unless you hate pedophiles. Another group says you’re not valid unless you accept pedophiles. Another group says “oh fuck all of it I’m just here for the memes” and then puts down another vote for trump. It’s all bullshit there is no one fucking way You have to draw your lines yourself. I don’t fucking know what you’re gonna like or what you’re gonna believe in. But to bring all this back to OP, I have to care A LOT MORE what happens when we start to interact. I can engage with almost anyone about almost anything. I’m happy to meet you wherever the hell you are. I’m not letting your voice change mine. But what I can’t do is get to know you better when there’s nothing to go off of. I get that people are shy. I get that humans are scary But no matter what stance you have, if you WANT to be friends with me or anyone else, it DOES take effort from all parties. Whether you’re a “accept everyone” person or a “fierce independence at all costs” person or a “I’m still learning who I am” person, it still takes work to get to know people. We are social creatures. We all want attention. It’s ok to want attention. Just… it’s ok to try