The girl was 14 at the time of the offending in September 2022, while the man was then 22. He cannot be named to protect the injured party’s right to anonymity.

They came into contact through social media and chatted for about one year before the rape occurred. The man also assaulted the girl, verbally abused and threatened her during the ordeal, which lasted between 90 minutes and three hours.

They had arranged a safe word for when they met up, which the man ignored, the court heard.

In early 2023, the man sent a photo of a tattoo he had gotten. In messages to an account set up by the girl’s boyfriend, who was pretending to be her, the man said the tattoo was a reminder of “how weak you are compared to me, I need to be reminded”.

He also said: “You are just another slut who had my dick in her mouth”.

In other messages, he used further insults and abusive language. “I was your way out, you blew it. I needed a whore, you could have been more but you’re not, which is sad.

“You have potential for love in you. You chose to be whore, a waste of beauty and intellect."

Imposing sentence on Monday, Mr Justice Sean Gillane noted the victim impact statement spoke of the lasting consequences for the girl, but also highlighted her resilience.

He said the man had a “very high level of culpability” and the aggravating factors included the “degrading” physical and sexual violence, manipulation and grooming of the girl, the age disparity and the “callous and ruthless language” used by the man in messages.

He noted the man’s guilty plea, though it was late, his expressions of remorse and that a probation report states the man is beginning to understand the impact of his actions.

The judge said the probation report also states the man developed an interest in pornography at a young age and consuming violent pornography led to “distorted” expectations around sex.

19 testimonials

The judge said 19 testimonials — all on affidavit and primarily from the man’s family — were received by the court.

Mr Justice Gillane said this was a topic of “recent controversy” and “understandable concern”. He noted the testimonials acknowledged an awareness of the man’s offending behaviour and “spoke well of him”.

However, the judge said in the context of identifying a headline sentence in a case like this, testimonials about the “perceived previous good character” carried “very little weight, if any.” He said the testimonials were more useful in assessing the possibility of rehabilitation, noting the man had the support of his prosocial family.

He also added the man’s ability to appear trustworthy was a way that allowed the offending to take place.

The judge imposed a 12-year sentence, with the final two years suspended for five years on strict conditions.

Victim impact statement

In her victim impact statement, the girl said she believed the man was someone safe she could trust. She said she believed they had built a genuine connection, but that trust was not real and was created to manipulate her.

She said what happened was more difficult to live with as it was not an accident, but “a choice to manipulate a child, a choice to take advantage of someone who trusted you".

“That is something you should carry. I have to live with the consequences every day."

She said the safe word was “used against me” and the tattoo was “so humiliating”.

She said she felt her vulnerability was mocked. “I hope when you look at it, you feel nothing but shame and disgust... for choosing to get a tattoo of the word that was meant to stop."

She said she worries she cannot be loved and she will carry what he did for the rest of her life.

“But you should carry something too — the responsibility, the weight, the shame of what you chose to do to a 14-year-old girl who trusted you."

The girl said she was still standing and “will not let what you did define what I become”.