The economy has gotten so bad that many modern daters feel like they can’t even afford to have a crush. Gen Z is calling this a “crush recession.”
Due to a variety of factors, from pricy first dates to swiping fatigue to risk aversion, many singles now view romance as either a luxury or an inconvenience. One perspective makes it seem appealing yet unattainable, while the other leaves a bad taste in our mouths. Either way, dating doesn’t have the same positive connotation it once had.
I spoke with a therapist about the troubling phenomenon of a dating recession—and the factors that are driving it.
According to Dr. Alexandra Foglia, DMFT, Director of Family Programs at All in Solutions, “[A] ‘crush recession’ is a social media concept that describes an overall decrease in people’s enthusiasm, spontaneity, and optimism regarding the excitement they feel when thinking about crushes or romantic interests.”
Many Gen Zers, in particular, are feeling less than enthused about dating, either because they’re too stressed by the state of the world or they’re simply burned out in the dating scene. Having a crush simply isn’t the same experience it used to be. With dating apps, situationships, and hookup culture taking the romance out of dating, many modern daters are left detached and jaded.
I think a better question would be, “What isn’t driving the crush recession?”
“There are many reasons that could explain why we are seeing a crush recession,” says Foglia. “These include dating app fatigue, an increase in fear of rejection by others, social isolation, and a culture that influences people to rapidly evaluate potential matches instead of allowing them to appreciate the curiosity and uncertainty that develops when attracted to someone.”
Look, I get it: Everything feels heavy and serious today. Most things are heavy and serious today.
Love and romance help us reconnect with what matters most in life. The mere act of pursuing a crush used to be exciting, but now, it’s become just another added stressor.
“The evidence indicates that when people chronically experience high levels of stress and/or burnout, they experience less novelty seeking and less positive emotionality, which limits their ability to experience the light-hearted feelings associated with having a crush,” Foglia explains.
So…does that mean romance is dead and buried forever? Absolutely not. It might just require a mindset shift and a new approach.
“In order to combat crush recession, I suggest people begin to think about developing relationships based on building authentic connections with another person instead of just focusing on finding ‘the one,’” says Foglia.
In other words, take the pressure off of having a crush in the first place, and simply let yourself get to know different types of people.
Additionally, opt for more affordable dates, like walks through nature or coffee shop hangs, so you don’t feel like you’re breaking the bank just to make a connection.
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