For many women, being able to squirt is a hopeful dream that many are trying to untangle themselves from because, well… It’s intimidating. Between the feeling that you might pee on your lover and trying to reduce anxiety, it’s a loaded experience. When you Google “How to squirt,” you’ll be flooded with dozens of Reddit threads and articles basically asking if everyone can squirt, or if their vagina’s broken. Oh, and there will be the looming question we all have: Is squirt pee? Take it from me, your sex and wellness writer, who always wanted to feel the sheer pleasure and release of squirting, but could never experience that desire. That was until recently, when I spoke with Womanizer‘s sex experts, Dr. Jessica O’Reilly and Dr. Shamyra Howard, and they gave me every tip and trick they had in their back pocket. I’m proud to say, I SQUIRTED. It only took 7 years, but I did it. Here’s what worked.
What Squirting Actually Is (And What It Isn’t)
The National Library of Medicine refers to squirting as a phenomenon where “some women report the discharge of a noticeable amount of fluid from the urethra.” Emphasis on *some*. So no, your vagina isn’t broken if you’ve never squirted, despite trying.
It’s an experience that completely engages your entire body and can also be accompanied by the loudest orgasm you’ve ever heard in your life. It might be a huge splash or a small spurt of liquid; both are considered squirting.
According to the research cited above, when tracking bladder movement and biochemical changes before, during, and after release, they found that “squirting is essentially the involuntary emission of urine during sexual activity.” After squirting, their bladder emptied, which led researchers to believe some urine was mixed into the fluid released during sex. However, it is not purely urine as it also includes prostatic secretions, aka female prostate secretions.
If you’re concerned about bedding getting wet with secretions, definitely opt for a waterproof blanket like Lovehoney’s Luxury Waterproof Throw. This will absorb all liquids so you don’t have to worry about squirting stains. It’s also quite discreet in appearance, which means you can leave it out without giving your sex life habits away.
What a Sex Educator Says About Squirting
In conversation with Dr. Howard and Dr. Reilly, one piece of advice kept resurfacing: don’t be afraid to pee. First thought? “Ugh.” Genuinely, how unsexy does that sound? (Well, if you enjoy peeing on your lover, ignore that.) Putting pressure on yourself to squirt is not the wisest decision.
Dr. Reilly says, “A lot of people put pressure on themselves to ‘achieve’ squirting like it’s the gold medal of sex, when really it’s just one possible response to arousal, pelvic floor relaxation, and stimulation.” As you can imagine, discovering that squirting can contain urine didn’t help my internal anxiety as it basically confirmed my biggest fear. So I decided I’d need to get very comfortable with the thought of peeing in front of my lover. That was easier to tackle than the issues we’ll talk about later.
If you’d like to squirt, sex experts suggest exploring blended orgasms. “Blended orgasms can increase overall arousal intensity because you’re stimulating multiple pleasure zones at once, usually the clitoris and internal areas at the same time,” Dr. Howard told VICE.
“That combination can create stronger pelvic contractions and the kind of full-body release that some people associate with squirting. A lot of people need more clitoral stimulation than they realize, even when they’re focused on penetration. The key is consistent arousal. The more aroused you are, the more orgasm potential you have, and that increases the chance of squirting.
This is where you’ll experience the “explosion of fluids,” as Dr. Reilly calls it.
It turns out that my biggest rival in squirting was performance anxiety. Your brain and genitals can impact each other, so feeling anxious will definitely make you freeze. In hindsight, I had previous partners who were so hell-bent on making me squirt that I realized I felt bad that I couldn’t, for one. And overall, it was just too much pressure. According to my conversation with Dr. Howard, this was exactly the issue. “Anxiety, overthinking, and ‘performing’ for a result can shut the body down fast. Hydration helps. Relaxation helps. Feeling safe helps.”
My second obstacle was that dreaded “I need to pee” feeling. Just as Dr. Howard warned, “A lot of people mistake the urge to pee during G-zone stimulation as a sign to stop, when for some bodies, that sensation can actually be part of the build-up.” What took me so long to squirt was my surmounting fear of not being able to and quite literally stopping myself from doing it because I was afraid my squirt was pee. By far the best advice she could’ve given me worked, so I have to share it with you: “If you feel like you have to pee, let it go. Anything that happens during sex is all for pleasure.”
Finally, squirting came down to a few key elements: sex positions, toys, and a whole lot of foreplay. When we asked about the best sex positions for this, both experts suggested missionary with your hips raised, riding and grinding (instead of bouncing), and doggy style. Each of these positions allows for deeper internal stimulation—especially consistent G-spot stimulation.
So, I laid down in the missionary position for foreplay, and I received oral as this helps me relax. This was to help me get out of my head and not force the intention of squirting, but more so just relax into the experience. We then used a clit sucker, the Womanizer Next, and incorporated fingering to reach a blended orgasm as Dr. Howard and Dr. Reilly suggested. Next is the closest to oral sex I’ve found in a sex toy, and it has a smooth rise in between settings, which helped me start rising to a climax.
Read my full review of the Womanizer Next.
We made sure to apply more internal pressure by teasing my G-spot and keeping up oral sex (while rubbing the clit in between). By this point, we’d ditched the toy for his mouth. We did this for a good while, almost to the point where I felt too much stimulation. And would you know it, the urge to pee was there. I instinctively tried to stop but remembered this was the moment I had been waiting for. Honestly, the pressure internally was so good I couldn’t fight the urge to squirt if I tried.
If I could describe the feeling of squirting, it felt like blacking out. Like the stars that come on the screen when a cartoon character gets punched. 10/10.
I’d recommend using a drop of lube if you’re having solo sex and using a clit sucker, as that will give you a good seal. A good seal on your clit equals amazing suction. Water-based lubricant is the safest bet if you’re using silicone sex toys, and Shibari’s Aloe Water-Based lubricant is my current favorite. It’s silky smooth and wipes off easily, so you’re not spending extra time doing cleanup after sex.
In hindsight, I absolutely should have had a waterproof blanket present because I definitely squirted on my couch. Sorry to my guests. Lovehoney’s Luxury Waterproof Throw looks like a regular throw blanket you’d place on your couch, so it’s easy to conceal.
If you’re having solo sex, you can use a dual stimulation toy to mimic the fingering-oral-sex combo. Womanizer’s Next Duo is a dual stimulator that will give you this effect. It’s a bit pricey ($239), but it has amazing reviews from women and their partners who love using it on them. It was designed to create a blended orgasm so this is a great choice.
Lovehoney’s mon ami is a G-spot and clitoral stimulator that will stimulate both areas for you, too. You can use one hand to hold it and grind on it, which will give you added stimulation via its sensorial ribbing. Price-wise, it’s about $100 cheaper than the Next Duo and as you can see by its shape, will help you reach a blended orgasm.
While I didn’t have the Magic Wand on hand the first time I squirted, it did help me squirt for the second time. That’s a huge accomplishment considering penetration wasn’t involved to create a blended orgasm, just the most intense vibrations I’ve ever felt on my clitoris.
Take a look at more squirt-worthy toys suggested by Dr. Howard and Dr. Reilly.
Dr. Reilly says, “It’s likely that most people can experience squirting.” But there’s a caveat: “ The language of ‘squirting’ can be confusing because the expulsion of a viscous fluid doesn’t always come out with pressure or gusto. Sometimes it’s more of a dribble.” Remember, both are valid.
Obsessing about “achieving” squirting is a sure-fire way to never enjoy it. Take Dr. Howard and Dr. Reilly’s advice and set the right environment with toys, relaxation, and continuous, dual stimulation. If you’d like to try any toys, take their suggestions and try a dual stimulator like the Womanizer Duo 2 or the Lovehoney mon ami G-Spot and Clitoral Suction Stimulator.
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