Are you dating a spoiled pig? If so, you’re not alone. In fact, this is so common that dating experts have given it a name: spoiled pig syndrome. While commonly used to describe the behavioral issues of actual domestic pigs, it is also used to refer to a spoiled partner. 

Much like well-loved pigs that receive special treatment from their owners, romantic partners might act demanding and entitled after being showered with attention and gifts for months on end. Naturally, this creates an unbalanced, often toxic relationship. 

To put it bluntly, “spoiled pig syndrome” describes a phenomenon in which one partner in a couple becomes incredibly, well, spoiled by the other, leading to a troubling sense of entitlement. 

“The ‘spoiled pig syndrome’ does not exist as an official medical or clinical diagnosis. Rather, it has become a common colloquialism that refers to a specific type of relationship dynamic in which one individual develops an unhealthy expectation for being treated with special attention,” says Dr. Max Doshay, PsyD, Clinical Psychologist and Co-Founder & CEO of KMN Psych. “This leads over time to an unbalanced relationship where one individual consistently provides and receives less.”

What Causes Spoiled Pig Syndrome?

While some people might already enter a relationship feeling entitled to special treatment and luxurious gifts—perhaps due to childhood conditioning—others develop this “syndrome” over the course of their relationship. For example, maybe during the early phases of your relationship, you spoiled your partner rotten with expensive date nights, breakfast in bed, fancy vacations, and other over-the-top gestures, without expecting anything in return. Eventually, this could make someone a spoiled pig.

“This behavior pattern can develop over time,” Dr. Doshay explains. “One of the partners in a relationship is typically more likely to consistently give in when confronted with a demand from the other. In addition, one of them may take on an unhealthy amount of the responsibilities in the relationship.”

“When these behaviors continue, they can inadvertently send a message to the other person (as well) that he/she/they have priority,” he adds. “Over time, what could be perceived as kindness towards the other individual(s) can lead to an entitled perspective when the couple doesn’t have clear boundaries.”

Preventing and Addressing Spoiled Pig Syndrome

No one wants to date a spoiled pig. (Or maybe you do…that’s your prerogative.) 

If you’re trying to avoid committing to someone who expects the world without offering much in return, then you must set boundaries from the start.

“Maintaining equilibrium in your relationship from the outset is the most effective way to prevent abuse,” says Dr. Doshay. “Partners who work together and are open with each other about their expectations have healthy relationships. Healthy relationships require that both partners put forth an equal amount of effort and show mutual respect for one another.” 

Dr. Doshay stresses the importance of setting boundaries and saying “no” when you don’t want to do something. While this might sound simple, many partners give in to demands early on in relationships, when things are still lighthearted.

“Also, be mindful of your needs so you can avoid putting them aside in order to maintain the peace,” he adds. “Establishing consistent boundaries will give both parties in a partnership a sense of value instead of having all of the burden fall on one individual.”