First dates are a lot of things—exciting, awkward, occasionally a juicy story you’ll tell at dinner parties for years. But according to new research, the thing Americans are most stressed about before they even walk through the door has nothing to do with their outfit or whether to go in for the kiss at the end of the night. It’s figuring out what to actually say.

Agilis, a digital marketing agency, analyzed Google search data across 54 first-date-related keywords and found that “what to talk about on a first date” tops the list, pulling 3,600 monthly searches. That beats “what to wear” (2,900 searches), “what to do” (1,600), and every other first-date anxiety on the list by a significant margin. Americans, collectively, are terrified of dead air.

“This clearly shows that singles are keen on making meaningful connections through conversation,” said Jehan Rajendra, founder of Agilis. Which is a generous way of saying people are Googling how to seem interesting before they’ve even picked a restaurant.

Americans Are Googling What to Talk About on First Dates More Than Anything Else

The rest of the list is a pretty honest portrait of where everyone’s head is at. “What to wear on a first date” came in second—because showing up looking like you tried without looking like you tried too hard is a challenge that apparently 2,900 people a month need help with. “What to do on a first date” landed at third with 1,600 searches, meaning a solid chunk of people are also completely winging the logistics.

The data gets more interesting further down. “Having sex on a first date is called what” and “fun first date questions” tied at 1,000 searches each—a pairing that says a lot about the range of outcomes people are privately hoping for. “Should you kiss on the first date” came in at 880 searches. And the post-date text made the list twice, because walking out the door doesn’t mean the overthinking stops.

What all of this adds up to is a pretty relatable picture of modern dating. Apps have supposedly revolutionized how people meet, and yet here everyone is, still Googling whether to bring flowers, how long the whole thing should last, and whether bowling counts as a real date. The technology changed. The sweaty-palmed dread did not.

Two hours, one drink, a lot of forced laughing, and somehow you’re supposed to figure out if this person is worth seeing again. No wonder 3,600 people a month are Googling their way through it.