Here’s something no one really wants to admit: the person you’re most drawn to probably drives you at least a little crazy. Not in a red flag way. In a “why are you like this” way, said with endearment, because they are fundamentally, annoyingly different from you.

A new survey of 2,000 Americans in relationships, commissioned by LELO and conducted by Talker Research, found that the ideal pairing—according to Americans, anyway—is a golden retriever with a bear. According to the different personality animal profiles, a golden retriever is loyal, relentlessly affectionate, and operates at a frequency that could generously be described as enthusiastic. The bear is warm, steady, and expresses love by making sure everyone is fed and comfortable. Complementary? Yes. The same person? Absolutely not.

And that seems to be the whole point. Couples who said they had different personalities from their partner were more likely to call their relationship strong (77 percent) than those who credited their similarities (70 percent). Not a giant gap, but a consistent one.

Differences Lead to Arguments, Not Unhappiness

What’s really fun about this data, though, is the contradiction inside it. Nearly half of the respondents said sharing a living space leads to arguments. Two-thirds of those same people said they were very happy. Both things, simultaneously true. Which, if you’ve ever been in a real relationship, is accurate.

What actually keeps couples solid has nothing to do with whether your personalities align. Per the data, it comes down to consistent romantic gestures (50 percent), direct communication (47 percent), and someone taking initiative to plan a date once in a while (32 percent). “When you truly feel close to your partner,” said Luka Matutinovic, chief marketing officer at LELO, “it creates a deep connection that opens space to explore each other’s needs and desires more deeply.”

There’s also a limit to how much togetherness people can actually stomach. The average respondent wants about four hours a day with their partner before needing to decompress alone—only 18 percent say they never want time apart. Which means for every couple out there thriving on their differences, at least one person is wondering why their partner is still in the same room.