We’ve all had “friends” who tear us down behind closed doors, distancing themselves from us the moment we start leveling up. This phenomenon is referred to as Tall Poppy Syndrome—and yes, it’s a real, documented, social and cultural phenomenon. Think of it like this: People choose to cut the tallest flower they see, merely because they are threatened by its growth. (We’re not really talking about flowers here.)

What Is Tall Poppy Syndrome?

Tall Poppy Syndrome refers to the idea of “humbling” or even sabotaging those who grow too successful or powerful. We see this happen often in the workplace, on social media, or even in our own social circles. 

Let’s say you landed the promotion your coworker has been working toward for years. Suddenly, that same colleague is discrediting your abilities and ambition. They might even go as far as to spread harmful rumors about you in the workplace, threatening your success by tarnishing your reputation.

Or perhaps you met the love of your life after years of struggling in the dating world. Now, your best friend is taking subtle digs at you and your relationship. They might be shunning you in your friend group or acting passive-aggressively toward you, unable to process their own jealousy while punishing you for your contentment. 

Unfortunately, we’ve all encountered these types of people. You know, the kind who just can’t seem to be happy for others without making it about themselves. They see your success as their failure—your blessings as their lack.

Have you ever noticed that when a woman rises to fame, it’s only a matter of time before the public turns against her? It’s like we suddenly embark on a social “witch hunt,” searching for her wrongdoings in an attempt to tear her down. We rarely see the same energy when it comes to a successful man, but that’s another issue for another day. This is a prime example of Tall Poppy Syndrome—and it’s incredibly toxic for all parties involved.

Origins of Tall Poppy Syndrome

According to TallPoppySyndrome.org, this concept originated in ancient Rome, when King Tarquin instructed his son to kill off the most powerful men in the area. 

“The story goes that King Tarquin the Proud walked silently through a garden,” the site reports. “He said nothing, but as he passed, he cut the heads off the tallest poppies. His message to his son? ‘When people rise too far above others, they must be brought down.’”

Unfortunately, this is a common tactic people use in everyday life. Sure, it might not be as severe as actually murdering your competitors, but it still involves tearing others down for your own benefit. Why? Because if you can’t rise to their level, your only chance at succeeding is to knock them down to yours (or lower), right?

It’s a rather sad, yet common, way to live.

If you’re the victim of Tall Poppy Syndrome, your best bet is to cut that person out and continue shining. It’s a sign you’re doing something right.