Dating in today’s day and age is not for the weak. The dating pool is filled with self-absorbed, entitled people with poor intentions. However, I like to think there are some kind, caring individuals mixed in with the crappy ones. In fact, despite what social media might tell you, I know there are plenty of good fish in the sea. It just might take time and discernment to find them. 

If you’re in the dating scene and searching for a genuine connection, you’re in the right place. Here are five green flags that someone is actually worth dating. 

1. They Ask You Thoughtful Questions

Have you ever been on a date with someone who only answered your questions or talked about themselves? Yeah, it’s exhausting to sit back and listen to someone go on and on about how ~awesome~ their life is, how ~cool~ their friends are, and how ~enlightened~ that recent self-help book made them—without them ever asking you a single question. 

Don’t get me wrong: these can all be great conversations, but only if the energy is reciprocated. If someone actually wants to get to know you, they will ask you thoughtful questions about your life, your passions, and your wants/needs in dating. 

2. They Respect Your Boundaries

Your boundaries will quickly weed out the wrong people, so don’t be afraid to set them early on. Someone who respects you and your wants, needs, values, morals, and comfort is someone worth trusting. Don’t continue dating someone who consistently pushes back on your boundaries or makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, as this will likely only get worse over time.

3. They’re Consistent

Consistency isn’t always easy to find today. Many people will show up as the best version of themselves for the first few weeks or months of dating, only to become complacent (or worse) as the relationship progresses.

When dating, look for someone who is consistent in small ways, as they’re more likely to be consistent in larger ways, too. For example, if they consistently communicate with you throughout the day, plan dates without canceling at the last minute, and bring the same energy to your conversations (no push-and-pull tendencies), take it as a green flag.   

4. They’re True to Their Word

It’s easy to spew a million promises or talk a big talk, but actions speak far louder than words. If someone actually follows through on the promises they make, they might actually be worth dating. You want to invest in those who invest in you, so choosing someone who shows (not tells) you how much they care is crucial.

5. They Bring You Peace

So many people mistake a rush of adrenaline as chemistry, when really it might actually be a sign your nervous system is triggered by this individual. Your body tends to know whether someone is safe or good for you before you know it logically. 

Look for the person who brings you peace, allowing you to feel relaxed in their presence. Attraction and chemistry can be built over time, but peace is hard to find.