Bryan Johnson has never been shy about his body. He’s shared his blood panels, sleep scores, biological age, and extremely rigid morning routine. But this week, the biohacker-turned-anti-aging-mogul decided the internet also needed to know about his girlfriend’s vagina. Specifically, that it’s exceptional.

It started with a bizarre bedtime post on X. “Just gave Kate oral sex. Goodnight, everyone,” Johnson, 48, wrote to his million-plus followers. Two minutes later, presumably still catching his breath, he followed up with a vaginal microbiome report belonging to his girlfriend, Kate Tolo. “100/100 score. Top 1% of all vaginas,” he announced, alongside a graph of her results.

He kept going. Tolo’s microbiome, Johnson explained, is dominated by Lactobacillus crispatus, “the single most protective bacterial species a vagina can host.” Only 25 to 30% of reproductive-age women are L. crispatus-dominant globally, and dominant typically means above 50 percent. Tolo is at 98.7%.

She’s also free of Gardnerella, Candida, STIs, and opportunistic pathogens. Johnson connected all of it to a lower risk of bacterial vaginosis, UTIs, yeast infections, HPV persistence, and HIV acquisition, then closed with a thesis: “A vaginal microbiome is downstream of everything: sleep, glucose control, stress, gut health, sexual health, immune function, what you eat, and what you put in it.”

The internet, of course, couldn’t hold back. One commenter dubbed it a “c–chie carfax.” Another wrote, “This man just posted his girlfriend’s p—y stats like a quarterly earnings report.” A third went further: “This is the type of s–t an incel would say after landing his first p–s. It’s psychopathic behavior.”

Tolo, for her part, didn’t shy away either. She acknowledged the post “seems unhinged,” but used the thread to make a genuinely useful point: oral sex carries real risks that don’t get nearly enough airtime. She rattled off HSV-1 transmission, oropharyngeal cancers now outpacing tobacco as an HPV consequence, antibiotic-resistant oral gonorrhea, and saliva’s ability to throw off vaginal microbiomes. “I’m grateful I have a partner who takes my health, his health, and our collective health seriously,” she wrote. Johnson replied, “Well said.”

The two met when Tolo joined his brain-interface company, Kernel, five years ago. Johnson described her first impression as “luminescent” and announced the relationship late last year, writing they’d “nearly become one person.” The man who once called himself an “impossible partner” because of his obsession with longevity apparently found his match. Lab results and all.