I don’t know about you, but the term “girl’s girl” is starting to get on my last nerve. Too many people use this concept to blindly support women without holding them accountable. Or worse, they label themselves a girl’s girl while shaming the very femininity they claim to protect. 

To me, that’s not true womanhood. 

Here’s what being a girl’s girl really is—and what it absolutely isn’t.

1. Supporting and Celebrating Other Women’s Success

Being a girl’s girl means supporting the women around you. Rather than tearing them down or preying on their downfall (which many of us were conditioned to do), you want to see them win. You lend them a helping hand, mention their name in crowded rooms, and celebrate their success as if it were your own.

Unfortunately, some women view other women’s achievements as their failures, even subconsciously. Without even realizing it, they might downplay another woman’s hard work or credibility to make themselves look/feel better in comparison. We’ve likely all done this at some point, especially when we were younger. Competing with other women came naturally to us, as it was pretty much drilled into our brains to do so. But it’s important to realize we’re all on the same team. 

The more we uplift each other, the more we learn that there’s enough room for all of us to take up space. In fact, we can use other women’s success as inspiration and permission to chase our own dreams. 

2. Not Shaming Women’s Interests

We’ve all witnessed the self-proclaimed “girl’s girl” who belittles other women for something as innocent as listening to Taylor Swift or drinking pumpkin lattes. Then, those who shame stay-at-home moms who bust their butts raising their kids.

What makes someone a true “girl’s girl” is allowing every woman to want what they want, like what they like, and lead a life that feels right to them—so long as it isn’t hurting anyone else in the process.

3. Holding Women Accountable

Too many of us confuse being a “girl’s girl” with being someone who overlooks or justifies a woman’s poor behavior, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Someone who genuinely cares about women and their happiness will hold other women accountable when they make mistakes or mistreat others. This doesn’t mean shaming or shunning them; rather, it means calling out negative patterns or harmful actions.

Just because someone is a girl doesn’t mean they should get away with cheating on a partner or hurting someone. Many people will dismiss real instances of abuse or assault just because the perpetrator was a woman. As humans, we need to hold everyone accountable regardless of their gender. Otherwise, we are excusing harmful behavior. 

4. Not Viewing Women as Competition

As I mentioned earlier, seeing women as our competition will naturally give us a more critical lens. When you are constantly working against someone else, you start to mentally pick them apart, noting their weaknesses or faults so you can “win.” This often happens subconsciously and without ill intent, but the impact is just the same.

For example, I recently wrote an article about how my relationship OCD constantly makes me compare myself to other women while dating, causing me to feel inferior to them. In the past, before I understood why my brain was doing this, I let my own insecurities villainize other women. Now, I use this energy to uplift other women and myself.

We are all unique, resilient, beautiful, and inspiring in our own ways. When you can see the good in yourself, you’ll start to see it in other women, too—without feeling threatened by them.