Wearable human activity sensors developed in the past decade show a distinct trend of becoming thinner and more imperceptible while retaining their electrical qualities, with graphene e-tattoos, as the ultimate example. A persistent challenge in modern wearables, however, is signal degradation due to the distance between the sensor's recording site and the signal transmission medium. To address this, we propose here to directly utilize human skin as a signal transmission medium as well as using low-cost gel electrodes for rapid probing of 2D transistor-based wearables. We demonstrate that the hypodermis layer of the skin can effectively serve as an electrolyte, enabling electrical potential application to semiconducting films made from graphene and other 2D materials placed on top of the skin. Graphene transistor tattoos, when biased through the body, exhibit high charge carrier mobility (up to 6500 2V-1s-1), with MoS2 and PtSe2 transistors showing mobilities up to 30 cm2V-1s-1 and 1 cm2V-1s-1, respectively. Finally, by introducing a layer of Nafion to the device structure, we observed neuromorphic functionality, transforming these e-tattoos into neuromorphic bioelectronic devices controlled through the skin itself. The neuromorphic bioelectronic tattoos have the potential for developing self-aware and stand-alone smart wearables, crucial for understanding and improving overall human performance.