Michael and Joshua. Joshua and Michael. A match made in heaven, inevitable, fated — or as said in Yiddish, beshert.
Michael and Joshua were together for 50 years before Joshua’s untimely death in February. Michael joined him two months to the day on Wednesday. It was my great fortune to have been best friends with them through their remarkable, accomplished, and loving journey together.
Their story began even before they became partners in 1976. They first met at Walter Reed Junior High School in Southern California’s San Fernando Valley. These two boys knew each other from the school band — Joshua playing cello, Michael on oboe.
But that was just the beginning. Josh recounted how, at North Hollywood High, he heard Michael dazzle fellow classmates on the piano and took note. Quietly, Michael admired Josh’s accomplishments in gymnastics. Just a few years later, competing for Cal Berkeley, Josh won the NCAA championship on the rings.
Michael and I met in New York in 1974 where I was beginning rabbinical school at the Hebrew Union College (yes, I am a rabbinical dropout). That April, I was hired as Michael’s go-fer through a week of Young People’s Concerts he was conducting with the New York Philharmonic. He was 29; I was 22. It was a fascinating week and memorable experience.
As a non-musical young man fascinated by the classical music world, I was thrilled to meet Michael, work with him, and join him on his performance tour of Europe in the summer of 1974. I knew what a privilege it was. That time together formed a 52-year brotherhood.
Two years later, Josh and Michael met again in New York City for the first time since high school. By then, Michael had established a renowned musical career while Josh was an accomplished teacher working with underserved students.
It was not long before their reunion blossomed into a five-decade love affair.
When I moved to San Francisco in 1977 and started my business, my two friends were crossing the globe as Michael performed captivating concerts with orchestras around the world. As Michael’s career soared ever higher and his reputation grew, Josh took on the role of business manager.
Reading the fine print of contracts and dealing with agents and publicists seemed to come easily to Josh — though I know it took great effort and patience. And that was just the beginning of Josh learning other skills that helped advance Michael’s career.
One aspect of these two extraordinary men that would not be well known is how important their extended family life was to them. Michael was an only child, the last of the mighty Thomashefskys (opens in new tab). As such, their blood relations were all from Josh’s side. His sister Paula, who lives in Boston, has an adult daughter Elizabeth. Josh’s sister Deborah and husband Dennis reside in Berkeley, as does their son Stefan and his wife Anya, and their daughter Elena, who lives nearby with her husband Trent nearby and their two children.
Ever the attentive and generous uncle, it was not uncommon for Josh to drive to the East Bay at 6 a.m. to have breakfast with the kids and to see them before school, soccer practice, dance and music lessons. or swim meets. He would tell me that if he didn’t take the time now, it wouldn’t be long before they were grown. His wisdom was prescient.
And of course, the entire family adored Michael — who could not? Everyone regularly attended concerts when he was in town conducting. His success and music-making were a family affair.
One treasured tradition was the annual Thanksgiving Day feast at Deborah and Dennis’ Berkeley home. Their children, and eventually their grandchildren, all joined in the holiday celebration. Turkeys were roasted and everyone brought a few side dishes, and endless desserts. My usual offering was an enormous autumnal bouquet. Joshua, Michael, and I were a treasured part of this classic American family ritual.
By the late 1980s, our unstoppable couple had completed tenures with the Buffalo Philharmonic, the Los Angeles Philharmonic, and the London Symphony Orchestra. In 1987, Michael co-founded in Miami Beach the New World Symphony, of which he was the artistic director. The New World Symphony is a training orchestra for conservatory graduates who have yet to land professional gigs. Afforded housing and a stipend, these select fellows have the opportunity to work and perform with world-class artists for a three-year term.
Today, New World Symphony alumni play in orchestras across the country — an enduring legacy of Michael’s passion for education and lifelong investment in the next generation of musicians.
In 1995, Joshua and Michael arrived in San Francisco from New York and London to begin what became a 25-year relationship with the San Francisco Symphony. With Michael as music director and Josh as a producer and major fundraiser, the symphony enjoyed the most consequential and longest-running partnership in its 115-year history. It was its golden age.
As I termed out of the State Senate in January 2017, Josh asked me to help him put in place the first pieces of a novel project. At that time, the state legislature of North Carolina had passed one of the first anti-trans bills to sweep the country. The symphony made the bold decision to oppose the discriminatory law by canceling its concerts in Chapel Hill.
Michael and Josh conceived of replacing the dropped performances with the first ever Pride Concert. The idea was to create a musical evening with the symphony and guest artists at Davies Hall to celebrate the music of queer composers as a protest against the growing wave of hostility and intolerance while celebrating our city’s spirit of inclusion and diversity.
Tony-winning Broadway phenomenon Audra McDonald joined us (opens in new tab) as the symphony performed the music of mavericks Lou Harrison, Henry Cowell, John Cage, and Meredith Monk. Audra performed songs by Kander and Ebb, Steven Sondheim, Leonard Bernstein, and Laura Nyro. She also narrated Aaron Copland’s Lincoln Portrait, which he composed to highlight “the magnificent spirit of our country.”
One memory that will stay with me forever is the day my partner Douglas Jackson died of AIDS at Davies Hospital on Castro Street in June of 1990. Douglas and I met in 1980 and spent 10 extraordinary years together before the disease took his life.
Those of us who survived that time know how profoundly devastating it was. Thousands of mostly gay young men were wiped out while our federal government ignored the tragedy. Michael and Joshua came to love Douglas as he loved them. We were all very much family. That June day in 1990, they were on their way to Europe for three weeks of concerts. Before they left, Michael and Joshua came to the hospital to say goodbye to Douglas. At his bedside, Michael sang “Gonna Take a Miracle.” Boy, was he right.
The totality of Michael and Joshua’s seemingly endless creativity, love of life and of each other would need significantly more space to recount than I can do here. In December 2019, when Michael was presented with the Kennedy Center’s Honor, Joshua produced Michael’s segment of the evening, which was hailed as the best of the honorees’ tributes that night. But that is another long story.
For interested readers, let me direct you to Michael’s website, michaeltilsonthomas.com (opens in new tab). As one of Josh’s last projects before his death, he brought all of Michael’s audio and video recordings to one address. It is a tour-de-force presentation of an uncommon 60-year career of musical accomplishment, reflecting Michael’s lifelong passion for sharing what he loved most, assembled by the person he loved most.
Mark Leno served in the California State Senate from 2008 to 2017, after six years in the Assembly, and four years on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors.
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