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Arpit Bhayani

Temporal Primer - Building Long-Running Systems What Matters in Production RAG Structure of Every LLM Chat How LLMs Really Work Your Monolith Is Already A Distributed System Databases Were Not Designed For This BM25 JOIN Algorithms Venting at Work Comes at a Reputation Cost Why Half Your Skills Expire Every Few Years Multi-Paxos - Consensus in Distributed Databases MySQL Replication Internals Bloom Filters When You Increase Kafka Partitions Product Quantization The Q, K, V Matrices The Day I Accidentally Deleted Production How LLM Inference Works What are Blocking Queues and Why We Need Them Heartbeats in Distributed Systems How Writes Work in Apache Cassandra Redis Replication Internals How to Handle Arrogant Colleagues at Work How Does a CDN Handle Content Replication You Can't Fix Everything on Day One When Emotions Spill Over at Work Why gRPC Uses HTTP2 Meetings With No Agenda Are a Waste of Time Career Longevity Beats Constant Job Hopping Stay Relevant at Higher Salary Levels Why Distributed Systems Need Consensus Algorithms Like Raft Why Do Databases Deadlock and How Do They Resolve It Why and How Cache Locality Can Make Your Code Faster Why Eventual Consistency is Preferred in Distributed Systems Why does DNS use both UDP and TCP Should You Do a Master's My Honest Take Empathy Makes Great Engineers Unstoppable Good Mentors Build People, Not Just Skills Why You Should Always Have Back-Burner Projects Before You Push Back, Know What You're Standing On Be the One They Can Count On How Much Are People Willing to Bet on You How to Get Leadership to Say Yes to Your Project Don't Let Your Best Ideas Die in Silence Be the Person Everyone Wants to Work With The XY Problem and How to Avoid It The Startup Hiring Lie Nobody Talks About You Won't Be Promoted Unless You Ask It's Not Enough to be Right; Learn to be Heard No One Ships Great Software Alone You Don't Win by Proving Others Wrong Appreciate Generously; It Costs Nothing, But Builds Everything Your Soft Skills Aren't Soft at All Before you form an opinion, experience it Why You Need Both Curiosity and Action to Thrive A Daily Worklog Changed Everything How We Handle Mistakes Defines Us Own Your Mistakes Don't Wait. Step Up. Temporary Fixes Are Permanent Why Interviews Are Biased And What Sets You Apart Saying 'This isn't my problem' is actually the problem How to Write Effective OKRs Never Lose a Battle due to Miscommunication When In Doubt, Code It Out Lead Projects That Land, Execution Over Everything Abstract Thinking Will Define Your Next Decade We Engineers Suck at Task Estimation Shiny Obect Syndrome in Tech When to Change Jobs - The 3P Framework Comfort and Competition - Know When to Switch Gears Paper Notes - On-demand Container Loading in AWS Lambda Paper Notes - SQL Has Problems. We Can Fix Them Pipe Syntax In SQL Paper Notes - NanoLog - A Nanosecond Scale Logging System Don't Wait, Learn - The Best Resource is Mythical Paper Notes - WTF - The Who to Follow Service at Twitter The Unexpected Benefit of Reading Random Engineering Articles Roadmaps Are Limiting Your Growth Stop Leaving Money on the Table - Negotiate Your Job Offer Never Bad-Mouth Your Past Employers Show You're a Culture Fit Quantify your resume, Know Your Numbers The Importance of Being Likeable in Interviews Questions to Ask Your Interviewer How to Build Trust Through Collaboration Do This, Once You Are Out of the Interview Cycle Stop Pitching Ideas, Start Pitching Projects Read Those Design Docs, Even the Ones That Seem Irrelevant The Best Engineering Lessons Happen During Outages Great Engineers Start Broad LLM Summaries are Ruining Your Learning Turn System Design Interviews into Discussions Title Inflation At Work, Find Your Own Projects 6 Simple Strategies to Cracking Any Tech Interview How to Remain Unblocked Solving the Knapsack Problem with Evolutionary Algorithms Generating Pseudorandom Numbers with LFSR Local vs Global Indexes in Partitioned Databases Partitioning Data - Range, Hash, and When to Use Them
How to Follow Up Without Annoying People
Arpit Bhayani · 2025-01-13 · via Arpit Bhayani

Working with people is hard, but making them prioritize your work is even harder. Hence, one of the key skills you have to build is getting things done by others.

Ensuring things get done without nagging, micromanaging, or offending the people is an art. I have led many cross-functional work at Practo, Unacademy, and Google. Here are a few actionable insights

  1. be empathetic to others’ priorities, as they might have competing tasks
  2. phrase your follow-up messages in a way that shows you value their time

A well-written message signals that you’re not just asking for a status, but also offering support to make progress, something like

""" Hi [name], just checking if there’s an update on [task]. I know you’re busy, so let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. """

  1. space out follow-ups, and give people enough breathing room to act
  2. build strong relationships with your peers

Remember, people naturally prioritize tasks for those they respect and enjoy working with. Invest in building these relationships by acknowledging their contributions in public forums like meetings.

When I was a Platform Engineer at Practo, on day 1, I was told to be friends with everyone, and a few months later, I realized why. I learned that people will help you, not because they have to, but because they value your partnership. This stays true in any role.

  1. escalations should feel like collaboration, not confrontation.

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, a task gets stuck. In such cases, start with direct communication and clarify expectations and blockers with the individual.

If things still don’t move, loop in a senior, but frame the escalation not as a complaint but as a team effort to unblock the work. For example,

""" Hi [senior], I wanted to bring this to your attention since [task] is crucial for [goal]. [Name] and I have discussed this, but we’re still facing [specific issue]. Could you help us figure out the next steps? """

  1. people do what gets tracked, so make sure that regular status checks are brought up during common meetings, or periodically over async platforms like Slack and Teams.

But irrespective of all the above points, there is one thing that matters the most. After someone helps, don’t just move on; thank them meaningfully. Public appreciation in a team call, a quick Slack shoutout, or even a private note goes a long way.

When people feel valued, they’re more likely to go out of their way to help you or prioritize your work.