As machine learning systems move from theory to practice, they are increasingly tasked with decisions that affect healthcare access, financial opportunities, hiring, and public services. In these contexts, accuracy is only one piece of the puzzle - models must also be fair to different groups, protect individual privacy, and remain accountable to stakeholders. Achieving all three is difficult: differential privacy can unintentionally worsen disparities, fairness interventions often rely on sensitive data that privacy restricts, and automated pipelines ignore that fairness is ultimately a human and contextual judgment. We introduce FAIRPLAI (Fair and Private Learning with Active Human Influence), a practical framework that integrates human oversight into the design and deployment of machine learning systems. FAIRPLAI works in three ways: (1) it constructs privacy-fairness frontiers that make trade-offs between accuracy, privacy guarantees, and group outcomes transparent; (2) it enables interactive stakeholder input, allowing decision-makers to select fairness criteria and operating points that reflect their domain needs; and (3) it embeds a differentially private auditing loop, giving humans the ability to review explanations and edge cases without compromising individual data security. Applied to benchmark datasets, FAIRPLAI consistently preserves strong privacy protections while reducing fairness disparities relative to automated baselines. More importantly, it provides a straightforward, interpretable process for practitioners to manage competing demands of accuracy, privacy, and fairness in socially impactful applications. By embedding human judgment where it matters most, FAIRPLAI offers a pathway to machine learning systems that are effective, responsible, and trustworthy in practice. GitHub: https://github.com/Li1Davey/Fairplai