Activation steering methods enable inference-time control of large language model (LLM) behavior without retraining, but current approaches face a fundamental trade-off: sample-efficient methods suboptimally capture steering signals from labeled examples, while methods that better extract these signals require hundreds to thousands of examples. We introduce COLD-Steer, a training-free framework that steers LLM activations by approximating the representational changes that would result from gradient descent on in-context examples. Our key insight is that the effect of fine-tuning on a small set of examples can be efficiently approximated at inference time without actual parameter updates. We formalize this through two complementary approaches: (i) a unit kernel approximation method that updates the activations directly using gradients with respect to them, normalized across examples, and (ii) a finite-difference approximation requiring only two forward passes regardless of example count. Experiments across a variety of steering tasks and benchmarks demonstrate that COLD-Steer achieves upto 95% steering effectiveness while using 50 times fewer samples compared to the best baseline. COLD-Steer facilitates accommodating diverse perspectives without extensive demonstration data, which we validate through our experiments on pluralistic alignment tasks. Our framework opens new possibilities for adaptive, context-aware model control that can flexibly address varying loss-driven human preferences through principled approximation of learning dynamics rather than specialized training procedures.