Large-batch Contrastive Learning (CL), the foundation of modern representation learning, is fundamentally incompatible with the volatile resource constraints of edge devices. This conflict creates a dilemma: small on-device batches degrade model fidelity, while offloading to the cloud incurs unacceptable latency and bandwidth costs. Existing solutions often resort to static model compression, which fails to adapt to the runtime volatility of edge environments. To bridge this gap, we present StreamSplit, a novel framework that makes streaming CL practical across heterogeneous ARM client platforms. StreamSplit resolves the conflict between the continuous nature of ambient audio and the discrete batch requirements of models like CLAP and COLA. We introduce: (1) A distribution-based streaming framework that decouples representation quality from local batch size, using a tractable Hybrid Loss to maintain fidelity despite sparse updates; and (2) An Uncertainty-Guided Adaptive Splitter that uses a lightweight Reinforcement Learning (RL) policy to dynamically partition computation. Uniquely, this policy integrates real-time resource monitoring with embedding ambiguity to optimize the accuracy-latency trade-off on the fly. We evaluate StreamSplit on diverse hardware, from the resource-constrained Raspberry Pi 4 to the high-performance Apple M2. Results demonstrate that StreamSplit reduces per-sample latency by up to 4.7x and cuts bandwidth by 77.1% and energy by 52.3% compared to server-centric baselines. Crucially, it maintains accuracy within 2.2% of server-centric models, proving that adaptive, distributed learning is a viable path for the modern edge ecosystem.