Von Economo neurons (VENs) are large bipolar projection neurons found exclusively in the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC) and frontal insula of species with complex social cognition, including humans, great apes, and cetaceans. Their selective depletion in frontotemporal dementia (FTD) and altered development in autism implicate them in rapid social decision-making, yet no computational model of VEN function has previously existed. We introduce the Fast Lane Hypothesis: VENs implement a biological speed-accuracy tradeoff (SAT) by providing a sparse, fast projection pathway that enables rapid social decisions at the cost of deliberate processing accuracy. We model VENs as fast leaky integrate-and-fire (LIF) neurons with membrane time constant 5 ms and sparse dendritic fan-in of eight afferents, compared to 20 ms and eighty afferents for standard pyramidal neurons, within a spiking cortical circuit of 2,000 neurons trained on a social discrimination task. Networks are evaluated under three clinically motivated conditions across 10 independent random seeds: typical (2% VENs), autism-like (0.4% VENs), and FTD-like (post-training VEN ablation). All configurations achieve equivalent asymptotic classification accuracy (99.4%), consistent with the prediction that VENs modulate decision speed rather than representational capacity. Temporal analysis confirms that VENs produce median first-spike latencies 4 ms earlier than pyramidal neurons. At a fixed decision threshold, the typical condition is significantly faster than FTD-like (t=-23.31, p<0.0001), while autism-like is intermediate (mean RT=26.91+/-9.01 ms vs. typical 20.70+/-2.02 ms; p=0.078). A preliminary evolutionary analysis shows qualitative correspondence between model-optimal VEN fraction and the primate phylogenetic gradient. To our knowledge, this is the first computational model that asks what a Von Economo neuron actually computes.