We examine frugal federated learning approaches to violence detection by comparing two complementary strategies: (i) zero-shot and federated fine-tuning of vision-language models (VLMs), and (ii) personalized training of a compact 3D convolutional neural network (CNN3D). Using LLaVA-7B and a 65.8M parameter CNN3D as representative cases, we evaluate accuracy, calibration, and energy usage under realistic non-IID settings. Both approaches exceed 90% accuracy. CNN3D slightly outperforms Low-Rank Adaptation(LoRA)-tuned VLMs in ROC AUC and log loss, while using less energy. VLMs remain favorable for contextual reasoning and multimodal inference. We quantify energy and CO$_2$ emissions across training and inference, and analyze sustainability trade-offs for deployment. To our knowledge, this is the first comparative study of LoRA-tuned vision-language models and personalized CNNs for federated violence detection, with an emphasis on energy efficiency and environmental metrics. These findings support a hybrid model: lightweight CNNs for routine classification, with selective VLM activation for complex or descriptive scenarios. The resulting framework offers a reproducible baseline for responsible, resource-aware AI in video surveillance, with extensions toward real-time, multimodal, and lifecycle-aware systems.