COLUMBUS, OH—Expressing embarrassment at the sheer amount of time that had passed, local man Evan Pfister reportedly binge-watched an entire movie in one sitting on Friday. “Wow, I must have been staring at this screen for hours. Well, almost hours. An hour and forty nine minutes, to be precise,” said Pfister, who told reporters that he knew it probably “wasn’t healthy,” but the film just kept autoplaying one scene after another. “I usually like to watch my movies one Instagram Reels clip at a time, but what can I say? I guess I was just sucked in wanting to know what would happen to Selena Gomez and her friends in Monte Carlo.” At press time, Pfister was wondering out loud if perhaps his behavior was a symptom of depression.