The New York Post almost lost me in May.

I was lying in a treatment room at the newly-opened Meraki Wellness on Grand Cayman, getting a massage so relaxing I dozed off for a few minutes, and I thought, What if I just… stay here? No one can make me go home.

How I’d support myself in the Cayman Islands? No clue. And realistically, I wouldn’t be getting the luxe spa treatment every day. But who needs realism? I was in a spa so gorgeous that I wanted to beg the co-founders to make over my apartment, so who could help but fantasize a bit?

Meraki is 16,000 square feet of pure zen. There’s none of that dark, moody stuff — no squinting to find your way, no too-loud forest sounds. It’s light, airy and colorful, filled with curved lines and a sunburst motif. The hallways are designed to make you feel like you’re floating through fluffy clouds.

Peter and Shula Clarke, who co-founded and designed Meraki Wellness, were already retired in Mallorca when they were asked to take on this new project — so to get back to work, it had to be worth it.

“We only wanted to come out of retirement if we were going to actually do something very significant in our industry,” Peter told The Post. “We didn’t just want to do a regular spa. We’ve always been at the forefront of what we’re doing.”

“What Meraki means [in Greek] is you do what you do with love and passion, a piece of your soul in your work — and that isn’t just our name, that is our philosophy,” Shula added.

Peter said that it’s apparent in the “exceptional detail” they bring to “every single touch point” — and it’s certainly easy to see in the luxe amenities.

Hydrotherapy Odyssey

This isn’t some packed bathhouse contrast therapy. Peter describes the Hydrotherapy Odyssey as “a very special place doesn’t exist anywhere else in the world” — and I certainly haven’t experienced anything like it.

Meraki’s hydrotherapy ritual is led by a “spa butler” who takes you through each of the steps, furnishing you with face sprays and healthy shots in between.

It kicks off with a stint in their beautiful panoramic sauna — the biggest in the Caribbean — with a sunny island view. That’s followed by a rinse under cold rain showers, then a sweat in the steam room (or “caldarium”).

Back to chilly in the cold plunge, warm again under the “Aquamoon” showers, and finally freezing in their snow room, which gets filled daily with actual snow (don’t worry — you can keep on your slippers and there’s a blanket to sit on) and has the swirling Northern Lights on the ceiling.

All of this is obviously very relaxing — but it’s got science-backed health benefits too. Studies show sauna is good for immunity, sleep, heart health and weight management, while contrast therapy can help with physical recovery and inflammation.

The cherry on top of the journey is the tepidarium, a warm pool filled with Himalayan salt water where you can lounge and dip for hours. This was one of the most stunning rooms of the whole spa, with marble floors, greenery on the walls and a geometric ceiling design. Peter said that some guests have been convinced that the pictures they’d seen of the place must be AI — until they saw it in person.

Treatments

Meraki has multiple treatment rooms for facials, tech like Emface and Lyma lasers, and, of course, massages.

I got their signature massage — you know, the one that had me thinking of quitting my job and moving to the Caribbean — but they have others designed for different goals, including sleep and energy.

Some of the rooms, where you can also get dry brushing or a mud wrap, have steam rooms and tubs for bathing rituals.

And when you’re all done? Your spa butler will bring you to one of the five lounges, where you can also order champagne, caviar or lunch.

Hammam

Getting clean has never been so relaxing — not even in a dark shower.

Everything’s heated in this room, from the floor to the giant stone slab you lay on while your attendant takes you through the 90-minute hammam ritual. That includes a steam to open up your pores, scrubbing, mineral mud, and lots and lots of foam poured over your body.

Between each step, water cascades slowly over you from head to toe. So you’re not just getting fresh new skin — you’re also getting a bit of a vagus nerve reset.

Beauty and grooming

Nothing says wellness like being pampered — and for many, that includes a bit of beautifying. Meraki’s Butterfly Room has lavish manis and pedis, with techs trained by celeb manicurist Jenni Draper (who’s worked with Keira Knightley, Lupita Nyong’o and Cate Blanchett).

Plus, keeping hands and feet healthy is more essential than people realize. “We pretty much take them for granted,” Shula said. “But can you just imagine life without them? Pretty impossible.”

They also offer waxing and brow tinting, hairstyling, and a barber (by Truefitt & Hill, which has served the British Royal family, Winston Churchill and Frank Sinatra) for cuts and shaves.

Café

Healthy — but not boring — food is on the menu at their café, Plant & Tonic. Think build-your-own toasts and yogurts, colorful salads, lean protein, fresh juices — and even cocktails if you’re in the mood.

Longevity

Something else that makes Meraki different from a traditional spa is that it’s not just about relaxing — though make no mistake, you will be relaxed. But overall health and wellbeing are the ultimate goal.

That’s why they also have a fitness room (outfitted with high-end Technogym equipment and a personal trainer) and offer longevity screenings.

The screenings evaluate biomarkers like metabolic health, heart health, immunity and stress, and the results can be used to design programs to improve your metrics.

The idea is that being healthy isn’t just about eating a good diet and working out, but also incorporating good recovery practices. That’s certainly becoming a larger focus among those chasing longevity and healthspan, from New Yorkers dropping $100,000 a year on wellness clubs to fitness fans installing saunas and cold plunges in their homes.

For some lucky Grand Cayman residents, this is, actually, part of their homes: The spa is an amenity for residents of The Watermark next door, where homes have sold for up to $40 million.

But for everyone else, Meraki can be a special escape — one that was just a 4 hour flight on Cayman Airways away from New York City. And if you need to give yourself permission to indulge in a blissful spa day, you can rest easy that it is, truly, good for your health.