Update: Within a few hours of posting this to HN, I got a message on Connect saying they're proceeding with the review. The app got promptly approved in 3 minutes flat. Thank you, unknown Apple hero!
You can find the app here. Post, for posterity, below.
The most frustrating part of App Store review is the random nature of the process. There's always a ~1% chance you hit the crap jackpot. The same build can be approved one day and rejected the next, and identical features can be interpreted differently by different reviewers. Here's the story of my 1% experience.
The Back Story
For context, this ain't my first rodeo and this isn't me being salty because I don't understand the process. In the last oh so many years, I think I've gone through the App Store review process (for new apps and updates) more than 500 times easily. A busy app of mine just had its 215th build approved. All this just to say: I've done this many times before and it was never this bad. Is it all because of the LLM induced Cambrian explosion of apps?
I recently submitted a tiny browser to help me with cloud gaming on my iPhone and iPad. The default Xbox Cloud Gaming PWA keeps getting stuck in the loading stage intermittently which started getting on my nerves. After a little bit of spelunking, I managed to figure out how to fix it and thought I'd release it on the App Store for free. I added some goodies like gesture-based nav paired with zero browser chrome to make gaming a bit more immersive.
Round 1
After a bit of polish and App Store screenshot misery, I was done. Or so I thought. A couple of days later, I get a dreaded rejection email.
Reason: We can't use the app as there's no UI. Odd because the app shows, first up, a tutorial showing how the gestures work and the browser's home page is a web page where I show them the gesture system again. Oh well, people are busy, cognitive load is a thing, so I just made it more obvious. I sent them a full video walkthrough showing them how the gestures work and added more details to both the welcome tutorial and the home page.
Round 2
After another couple of days, another rejection with an acknowledgement of the gesture system. Reason? The dreaded "Your app links to enable purchases of digital content and services to be used in other apps or on third-party platforms."
Xbox Cloud Gaming asks you to login to their service and subscribe to a plan for cloud gaming. As a browser, I'm not sure how I'm expected to adhere to this. These are third party gaming services that I don't run, operate, or have any control over whatsoever.
Again, I very politely explained the situation and reiterated that this is a gaming oriented browser but this is still a browser. I removed all the preloaded bookmarks to cloud gaming services when I resubmitted the build too.
Infinite Recursion
After another 72 hour wait, I get another rejection basically going back to round 1: "We can't use the app". Resubmitted with more info, rejected with round 2. On and on and on.
I initially submitted it on Jan 7th. We've gone on this merry-go-round for the insane about 5 times now. Each time the previous issue has been acknowledged as a non-issue but the one before that is being surfaced as a fresh thing.
So far, I've recorded video walkthroughs, added more info to the tutorial screen (to the point of assuming the user is a tech illiterate, blind baboon), added more info in the review message. Nothing has worked.
The Process is the Punishment
As cliched as it sounds, that's what it feels like. I've asked for a review escalation through the form but no update on that. I've also scheduled an App Review appointment at the earliest available date, a week from now.
At some point, it feels like I should just delete the app and move on. I have a fixed amount of time to hack on side projects and this just feels like I'm hitting my head against a wall while an obtuse, AI driven system cackles on the side.
Maybe It Has to be Goodbye?
Over the years, I've had to deal with the App Store, Play Store, Samsung's Galaxy Store, Amazon's App Store, Extension stores from Chrome, Firefox (where I have a featured extension), Edge and many more. Apple used to be the quickest and caused the least surprise. I'm shocked to see such a change in the submission experience.
Funny thing: after this whole fiasco, another app of mine, built for my wife’s music needs and more traditional in terms of UI and functionality, got approved in under 12 hours on the first try.
Just re-roll now and pray for a better outcome, I reckon?
If you've reached this far, thank you for reading! :)
I thought multiple exits and retiring in my mid 30s would be fun but I've just been bored and depressed without morning Slacks and emails to wake up to. If you’re building something interesting and could use an extra set of hands to ship, or just want to say hi, feel free to reach out. My inbox is open.