Physical reservoir computing harnesses nonlinear mechanical dynamics but, by convention, freezes the substrate and trains only a linear readout, presuming the substrate is not usefully trainable. We revisit that premise for networks of nonlinear oscillators whose mass, damping, and stiffness are learned end-to-end through a symplectic integrator. Our central result is a trilemma: memory horizon, gradient stability, and dynamical expressivity cannot be simultaneously maximized, because all three are governed by the damping. The backward gradient decays at a rate set by the damping, capping how far back credit can propagate, while forward sensitivities grow exponentially in the largest Lyapunov exponent, so usable gradients require damping above a stability floor. Since the Lyapunov exponent falls as damping rises while the memory ceiling falls as the horizon grows, stable training is confined to a band that contracts with horizon and closes at a critical point. We test every step on a twenty-oscillator network. A damping sweep finds the largest Lyapunov exponent monotone and crossing zero at a well-defined stability floor, confirming the theorem's key assumption. A compute-matched comparison of learned versus frozen substrate on delayed recall across nine horizons shows the learned substrate dominating at short horizons and the advantage closing and reversing near a horizon of eleven steps, the predicted signature of band closure; trained models settle near the stability floor, seeking the edge of chaos unprompted. The analytic ceiling overestimates the empirical crossover roughly fivefold, a gap between detectable and learnable gradient that we report rather than tune away. The contribution is a confirmed account of when training a physical substrate beats freezing it.