A breakup is a major upheaval — the kind that turns life upside down. The familiar order of things, where two people shared the same interests, moments, and often even the same physical space, collapses in an instant, leaving each of you in a world of your own.
Besides that, couples are connected not just in real life, but digitally too. Shared subscriptions, saved addresses and passwords, access to joint cloud storage — all of that used to be woven into your day-to-day life. Moving on emotionally can take a long time, sure, but there are steps you can take right now that will tighten up your security — even if they won’t help you get over your ex.
Here’s what you need to check after a breakup, which services to disconnect, and why you should do it even if the split was amicable.
Cutting off your ex’s access to your online accounts isn’t paranoia — it’s looking out for your own security. A breakup doesn’t automatically sever your digital ties: any access you granted each other during the relationship stays active until someone manually shuts it down. Most of the time, nobody’s plotting to actually exploit it, yet it can still lead to anything from awkward moments to a genuine risk of being tracked.
Take Aleta Dignard-Fung, of Las Vegas, who told NPR that after breaking up with her boyfriend, it didn’t immediately occur to her that he still knew her Spotify password. One day, in the shower with music playing, she noticed her playlist suddenly switch. Her ex had logged in from another device and started playing his own chosen tracks. “It was just kind of like the Spotify wars, and we’d just spend like 10 minutes trying to override each other’s songs,” she admitted. But the fallout isn’t always this lighthearted.
Relationship coach Susan Winter shared a case from her own practice in that same interview. One of her clients simply couldn’t let go of his ex-girlfriend after their breakup. The two had shared an OpenTable account — the restaurant reservation service — and she’d never revoked his access. He started tracking her bookings: where she was going, what time, how many people. That’s how he kept tabs on whether someone new had entered her life.
These two stories, while showing very different behavior from the exes involved, both trace back to the same root cause: accounts that were never properly locked down. In the former case, it led to an awkward moment. In the latter, it led to anxiety and a real sense of being watched. To make sure neither scenario happens to you, it’s worth running through a quick checklist.
In the settings for your social media, messaging apps, email, and other key services, pull up the list of active sessions and log out everything except your current devices.
Update the passwords to any key accounts your partner might have known — say, if you used a meaningful date as your password. If you reused the same password across multiple services, change it everywhere. While you’re at it, review your security questions and your backup email or phone number for account recovery — neither should still be tied to your ex. To skip the hassle of memorizing new credentials while still leveling up your security, we recommend using a password manager — it’ll generate a unique, strong password for every account, and save and sync it across all your devices; the only thing you need to remember is a single main password.
Make sure verification codes only go to your own device. Remove your partner’s devices from your trusted list — you can do this in your Apple and Google account settings.
If you shared an Apple or Google account, sign out of that. Turn off Family Sharing, iCloud, and backups. Check your shared photo albums too — anything that lands there automatically is visible to your ex as well.
If you shared subscriptions — streaming services, family plans, that kind of thing — cancel them or set up new ones and link your own card.
If your ex’s card is linked to a marketplace, delivery app, or rideshare service account you own, remove it from your saved payment methods. If your card is linked to their account and you no longer have access to it, the safest move is to just get your card reissued.
Cut off your ex’s access to cameras, video doorbells, GPS trackers, and smart speakers. If the devices were on a shared account, change the password or move them over to your own personal account.
Check the privacy settings across your accounts on various services and social media using our free online tool, Privacy Checker. It walks you through a privacy configuration tailored to your operating system, platform, and even your browser.
Reach out to advocacy or legal aid organizations — they can help you map out the best course of action. It’s also worth leaning on family and close friends who can support you through a tough situation. On Android devices, you can use our security suite with the Who’s Spying on Me feature. It’s designed to help you detect tracking and stalking so you can take the right steps to protect yourself. The feature includes:
What can actually help — and what might make things worse — during this difficult time? Check out our other posts:
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