Dear readers, how are you? It has been a few weeks since we last spoke. But so many things have happened since then. The news is just relentless. Is it not exhausting? Every single day, there is something or the other happening. Elections. Wars. Scandals. Sporting events. Social media kerfuffles. Entertainment industry headlines.

I find it all very exhausting indeed. Back when I was but a small child of 6 or 7, my parents used to tell me to consume the news every day. Read the newspaper, they would say, it will make you a more knowledgeable person. It will help you be a mature human being. And so I would spend 30 minutes every day going through the morning newspaper, and later discuss current affairs with friends at school.

And by current affairs, I mean Sachin Tendulkar, plane hijackings or assassinations.

But those innocent childhood days are behind us. Gone are the days when you could meet a friend for coffee or at the football ground, and someone would ask: “By the way, who is the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom?”

And then all of you would look at each other. Then someone would say: “It is Ian Botham?” And you would all agree to move on to other topics.

Mainly, Sachin Tendulkar. Sometimes, Raveena Tandon.

But, these days, you can’t even have a relaxing matcha latte without someone slapping you around the face with current affairs.

So, what about the whole Strait of Hormuz thing, Sidin?

Please leave me and my matcha latte alone.

Which is all very bad enough. But today, I want to raise another issue that is plaguing mutual discourse in modern society. Namely, the inability to suffer anything alone.

Let me explain. A few weeks ago, I met a friend for a beverage. I had just returned from the gym after some assorted exercises. Several Vande Bharats of pain were criss-crossing the rain network of muscles in my body.

“Sorry if I seem uncomfortable,” I told my friend, “but I just did some Romanian deadlifts and my glutes are on fire.”

Readers, you tell me. What is the decent thing to do when someone shares a malaise with you? You sympathise, ask for more details, and then offer moral or other support, yes?

Apparently, this trend died out in the 2010s. Nobody does this anymore. Instead, they try to compete with you on suffering.

“Oh, your glutes are hurting? I just did a half-marathon on Sunday, and my shins are still hurting from all that lactic acid.”

Brother, did I ask you about your Amul shins? Do I care you went on a half marathon? Why didn’t you take an Uber? Brother, why can’t I spend five minutes wallowing in my own pain and sadness?

Dear readers, has suffering and sadness also become a competition in today’s society? This trend has become unbearable. You can’t even complain about something on social media. Immediately, five people will come and tell you how they recently suffered something worse.

Complain about long lines at the airport, and someone will tell you how the same thing happened to them at Rameshwaram Cafe. Tell someone that you just received bad service on Air India and someone will come and say how I am very lucky, and how they got even worse service on Gulf Air.

Complain loudly that the traffic in Mumbai is unbearable, and someone will ask you to go and live in some other country instead of complaining.

Friends, look. I understand. You also have a life full of inconveniences and disturbances. But please shut up and listen to mine, no? And if you are so obsessed with making yourself the centre of attention, then do the decent thing: go convince someone at a major national newspaper to give you a fortnightly column where you can write thinly veiled criticisms of your friends, spouses, children, etc.

Meanwhile, I think it is very important that we come up with a word for this phenomenon of competitive misery. So that we can immediately name and shame such behaviour. And generate tremendous social sanction against such shenanigans. And that word is: painsmanship.

Example sentence: “Priya complained about her two-hour commute through Bengaluru traffic, but Avisek’s painsmanship was undefeated: ‘Two hours? When I was your age, I walked 47 kilometres uphill, both ways, in the monsoon while carrying my grandmother on my shoulders.’”

Have you been the victim of painsmanship recently? Did it really annoy you? Well, a lot of things annoyed me recently as well. Do you want to hear about them?

The writer helps early stage companies communicate better. He blogs at www.whatay.com.