Most people who move to another country do so for work, love or adventure, and then go home. Caleb Friesen, a Canadian, moved to Bengaluru over eight years ago and simply stayed. Not for a job posting, not for a spiritual retreat, and not temporarily. Just because he wanted to.

His recent Instagram post explaining that choice has sparked an online conversation, partly because of what he said about India and partly because of what he said about Indians.

The question he cannot stop answering

Friesen says the same assumption follows him everywhere. People can understand visiting India, or being sent here by a multinational for a few years, or coming for self-discovery. What they cannot understand is just living here, by choice, indefinitely.

"I get this question a lot. People understand visiting India for tourism, they understand being sent here by a multinational for a few years for work, they understand soul searching, but just living here? For 8+ years? Like a normal person? That's something most people struggle to wrap their heads around. They assume there's a catch. Some ulterior motive," he wrote.

Beyond his personal story, Friesen has also built a following for his videos documenting public infrastructure problems in Bengaluru, potholes, litter, broken footpaths, helping amplify civic issues and push for accountability.

His observation about Indians and their own country

The more pointed part of his post was directed not at India itself, but at a certain attitude he has observed among some Indians. He described a segment of Indian society that carries what he called an "underlying, subliminal disdain" for their own country, preferring foreign products, choosing Southeast Asia over India for travel, and aspiring to raise children abroad.

Friesen is direct about the contrast with his own perspective. "I do not carry that baggage. I wasn't born here, and I didn't grow up absorbing that narrative. To me, India is what it is. The good, and the bad. Every country has both. Canada has good and bad. America has good and bad. The UK has good and bad. Singapore had good and bad."

He then made an observation about how human perception of problems works. "The frustration I feel for a pile of litter in India is the same frustration a Japanese person feels for a single piece of litter. The anger I feel about a pothole-ridden road is the same anger a Dutch person feels about a single tiny crack in the road. The bad in every place is equally bad, not by objective measure, but by human measure. But that's not how we see it when we're comparing our own country with someone else's on social media. It's only when we get there and live there for a few years that the goalposts change."

His conclusion was characteristically direct. "Comparison is the thief of joy, and many people in India do a lot of comparison. I try to be optimistic wherever I am. In spite of the challenges we all face living in India, I keep my chin up, take people at face value, and give everyone the benefit of the doubt."

How people responded

The post landed differently depending on who was reading it. Some found it refreshing. Others pushed back hard.

One commenter connected with the observation on a personal level: "The instances of people hating local in their ignorance is real, and it's a self-fulfilling feedback loop. Your answer makes perfect sense irrespective of place or circumstances."

Another took a broader view on identity and belonging: "You are absolutely right. People here need to get over from colonial mindset. Learn English or other foreign languages, go abroad but it's important to respect and love our roots as well. Contentment is what important. Each place can be beautiful and can be called as home when one is happy in that moment."

But not everyone was persuaded. One commenter, a woman living in the US , pushed back directly, listing specific reasons she was glad to have left India: "I am very proud of living outside India, as a woman. The air is cleaner here in the US, the public transportation system is far superior, we have numerous national parks and green public spaces here, women's safety is better, and my higher education goes far further here! The working class is heavily exploited in India. You are free to live amidst grime, smog, and poverty, but please don't whitewash the issues in India and compare India to developed nations, just to score views from idiotic deshbhakts. Sure, the US and Canada have their own issues largely stemming from crisis capitalism, but they pale in comparison! You're just a grifter who realized he could move to a lesser developed country, become an 'influencer' there, and have a maidservant clean your underwear."

Another commenter acknowledged the complexity without dismissing either side: "I love my country but I have been disappointed time and again by the quality of life, the AQI, the food quality, way of life and the society. It is completely different in developed countries. There is a reason people leave. Maybe for some it is a choice, but for people who live in cities like Delhi or Mumbai to make money it can be living hell."

Published on: May 6, 2026 9:05 AM IST