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Futurism

SpaceX Plunges to All-Time Low After Competitor Makes Major Leap Palantir Insiders Disgusted by Company's Leadership Elon Musk Says His Goal Is for SpaceX to Be Worth More than the Entire Earth "You Are a Parasite": Elon Musk Humiliated for Criticizing Zohran Mamdani Bryan Johnson Spent Tens of Millions Trying Not to Die, Gets Diagnosed With Incurable Disease Elon Musk Is Charging Starlink Customers Gigantic Bogus Fees Because Its Network Is Being Crushed by "High Demand" Trump Boasts That He Can Profit Off Presidency as Much as He Wants: "I Found Out That Nobody Cared" "Televised Nervous Breakdown": CEO of Palantir Suffers a Bit of a Meltdown During Live Interview SpaceX Investors Are Having Another Brutal Day Elon Musk Is Crashing Out Badly Elon Musk Confronted With List of People He's Killed, Including Children AI Zillionaires Are Starting to Get Scared as the Public Turns Against Them Amazon Just Pulled Something Absolutely Craven to Avoid Embarrassing Its Friends at OpenAI Elon Musk Says SpaceX Is "Like Union Pacific," Which Is Extremely Funny If You Know What Actually Happened to Union Pacific Head of Microsoft Rages at His Fellow CEOs for Admitting What They're Actually Doing to Society With AI Musk Furious After SpaceX Stock Gets Worst Possible Report Card Elon Musk's Conflicts of Interest With the Trump Administration Regulating SpaceX Are So Profound That They Have Grim Implications for Society Tesla Allegedly Showed Cooked Data to Get Full Self-Driving Approved Elon Musk Fantasizes About Killing Journalists Google CEO Humiliated by Graduating Stanford Students as They Walk Out of His Speech in Protest Tesla’s Robotaxis Are a Complete Disaster SpaceX’s IPO Shows That We Aren’t Even Close to Peak AI Bubble The More Data We See About SpaceX’s IPO, the More We’re Wincing Sam Altman’s Eyeball Scanning Company Now Laying Off Workers The Math on SpaceX’s IPO Is Virtually Impossible It’s Possible That SpaceX Could Collapse Spectacularly SpaceX Is Massively Overvalued Ahead of Its IPO, Analysts Find Elon Musk Says He Only Got Involved in Politics Because He Couldn’t Deal With Having a Transgender Child AI Billionaires Are Starting to Get Scared Trump Shovels $4 Billion Directly to Elon Musk, Who Spent a Fortune Getting Him Elected Woman Accuses Biohacker Bryan Johnson of Hypocrisy to His Face Tesla Insiders Admit Self-Driving Is a Complete Disaster CEO Receives Violent Threats After Kicking Off AI Layoffs New Website Detects Apocalypse If Billionaire Jets Start Fleeing en Masse Man Drives Cybertruck Into Lake to Test Elon Musk’s “Boat” Claims, and It Went About as Well as You’d Guess Marc Andreessen Sputters Incomprehensibly at Question About How AI Will Actually Benefit Humankind SpaceX Stock May Actually Be a Horrendous Investment Jeff Bezos Lectures the Public, Saying They Should Be Grateful for the Wonders of AI Elon Musk’s Ex Says He Bragged About 10,000 Lasers in Orbit That Are “Not a Piece They’ll See on the Chess Board” A CEO of a Bank Just Said Something So Ghoulish About Its Plans for AI That He’s Now in Full Damage Control Mode Why Is Mark Zuckerberg Taunting His Employees Before Firing Them? Mark Zuckerberg Has Been Playing a Cruel Game With Meta Employees Elon Musk Compares His Work to Miracles Performed by Jesus Christ Trump Caught Buying Tech Stocks and Then Pumping Their Value by Publicly Praising Them Mark Zuckerberg Used Shell Companies to Bully Native Hawaiians Marc Andreessen Goes Ballistic Over Video Making Fun of Him If Starship Explodes Again, It Could Derail SpaceX’s Entire IPO Elon Musk Absolutely Obsessed With Tweets From Random Guy In India Who Constantly Glazes Him, Analysis Shows Elon Musk Flees OpenAI Trial as Tide Turns Against Him Sam Altman Accuses Elon Musk of Laughing at Memes During Important OpenAI Meetings Elon Musk’s Attempts at AI Are Falling Apart Grok Just Issued a Brutal Beatdown to Elon Musk Under Threat of Perjury, OpenAI’s Former CTO Is Admitting Some Very Interesting Stuff About Sam Altman Sure, Elon Musk Did Roleplay As His Toddler Son on a Secret Burner Account, But He Probably Isn’t Pretending to Be His Mom Ordinary People Fear AI, While the Tech Leaders Working to Create a Permanent Underclass Say They’re Extremely Psyched About It Elon Musk Just Got Badly Humiliated in Court If OpenAI Loses This Trial, It Could Effectively Be Eliminated in Its Current Form Tesla Quietly Buys Mysterious $2 Billion Entity Elon Musk Fans Increasingly Disgusted by His Toxic Outbursts Trump’s Huge AI Data Center Project Is Falling Apart Behind the Scenes Elon Musk Admits He Lied to Tesla Customers’ Faces for Years About Self-Driving SpaceX’s IPO Plan Will Give Elon Musk Ironclad Rule Over the Resulting Empire Today Is the Day Anthropic Promised That Fully Autonomous Employees Would Be Tearing Through the Business World Tesla Drivers Losing Patience at Elon Musk’s Eternal Excuses Nvidia CEO Loses His Cool at Tough Question Jeff Bezos’ Space Company Just Screwed Up Very, Very Badly Pentagon Disturbed as Its Fleet of Drones Is Left Bobbing in the Ocean When Elon Musk’s Starlink Fails NAACP Sues Elon Over His Noxious AI Data Center Video Shows Amazon Delivery Drone Dropping Package Directly Onto Concrete, Smashing Its Delicate Contents Usually, Young People Embrace New Technology. Gen Z’s Attitude Toward AI Should Worry the Entire Tech Industry Elon Musk Says He Could Definitely Build a Public Transit System Better Than Anything In China If He Tried There’s a Mass Rebellion Against AI in the Workplace Sam Altman’s Coworkers Say He Can Barely Code and Misunderstands Basic Machine Learning Concepts JP Morgan Concerned Tesla Stock Will Crash by 60 Percent in Face of Ongoing Business Failures Elon Musk Secretly Shared His Number One Priority at Tesla and It Really Says It All Groups Set Up to Shill AI and Data Centers Are Pouring Huge Sums of Money Into the Midterm Elections Man Caught Sleeping Behind the Wheel While FSD Tesla Cruises the Streets After Decadent Feast of Wine and Pizza Trump Fans Furious That NASA Is Allowing a Canadian on the Moon Mission Almost Half of US Data Centers That Were Supposed to Open This Year Slated to Be Canceled or Delayed SpaceX Files for IPO
JONATHAN THE 193-YEAR-OLD TORTOISE IS STILL ALIVE, REPEAT HE HAS NOT DIED
2026-04-02 · via Futurism

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On Wednesday, sorrow swept through the Futurism newsroom as we heard that Jonathan, a 193-year-old Seychelles giant tortoise believed to be the oldest living land animal, had passed away at his home on the island of Saint Helena, a remote British territory in the middle of the Atlantic.

The tragic news, which was based on an X account that claimed to be the tortoise’s owner Joe Hollins, picked up widespread media coverage, from the BBC and USA Today to the Daily Mail.

But in case it wasn’t obvious enough that the Elon Musk-owned social media platform is drowning in misinformation and scams, the claim turned out to be a complete lie, forcing media publications to issue a tidal wave of unfortunate corrections.

“An earlier version of this story incorrectly reported that Jonathan had died, after the BBC along with other media outlets fell for a fake social media account,” the broadcaster wrote in a notice appended to its obituary.

According to the real Hollins, it was nothing more than a “hoax.”

“IT IS NOT TRUE,” Hollins wrote in an impassioned Facebook post, since he doesn’t actually use X.

Worse yet, it looks more like a scam than an ill-conceived April Fools’ joke. As the St Helena Island-based veterinarian warned, the “hoaxer is asking for crypto donations.”

“It’s a con,” he wrote. “Please forward guys because this has spread. Even our researcher friends in the US unraveling his DNA have just sent condolences.”

The original X account, which claimed to be Hollins, tried to strike an emotional tone to attract cryptocurrency donations.

“As his vet for many years, it was an honor to care for him — hand-feeding bananas, watching him bask in the sun and marveling at his quiet wisdom,” the account wrote. “He leaves behind a legacy of resilience and longevity that inspired millions. Rest easy, old friend.”

As The Guardian reports, the post received two million views and was largely taken at face value by the media. The account appears to be based in Brazil.

The incident highlights how X continues to struggle with runaway disinformation. Musk himself has repeatedly spread fabricated news stories, including racist conspiracy theories, adding to the problem.

Crypto and phishing scams also run rampant on the microblogging site. According to a Freedom of Information Act request filed by Gizmodo last year, users are getting scammed out of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars, often by accounts that claim to be Musk.

The good news is that the world hasn’t lost its oldest known tortoise.

“Jonathan is asleep under a tree in the paddock,” St Helena governor Nigel Phillips told The Guardian, confirming once and for all that the tortoise is “very much alive.”

A delightful picture Phillips snapped Thursday morning shows Jonathan munching on some leaves, with an iPad in the background showing the homepage of the BBC as proof of life.

“The report of my death was an exaggeration… Mark Twain, not Oscar Wilde,” he joked, quoting the author and humorist, who was mistakenly reported by newspapers to have passed away in 1897, thirteen years before his actual death. “Jonathan would nonetheless have had the chance enjoy both their works in the original first editions.”

More on fake news: Twitter’s new feature accidentally reveals something fascinating about huge MAGA Influencers