In this polarized moment, what does it take to build a brighter future for every child? That was the question framing a panel at the Every Child Thrives Festival in Chicago on June 23. 

“The answer to division is not compromise, it’s capacity,” said Nat Kendall-Taylor, CEO of FrameWorks Institute, a think tank that studies people’s mindsets about social issues. “It’s really thinking about the skills we need to have conversations across differences.” And there’s good news, according to Kendall-Taylor: We’re less divided than we’re led to believe. “Two things can be true: There are really meaningful ways in which division keeps us from the broad support necessary to create demand for the changes kids and families need,” he said. “But there is way more that people hold in common.”

So why do we feel a sense of fatalism and focus on polarization? “Division sells,” said Kate Carney, Deputy Director of More in Common US, a research organization that studies the forces that divide society. “The people who get the most airtime are the ones who often hold the most divisive views on either end, so that’s what is shaping the public narrative.”

A pervasive sense of hopelessness is hampering efforts to create communities where every child and family has access to opportunity. One proposed solution is to learn the leadership skills necessary to engage directly across ideological and political differences. Hailie Addison of BridgeUSA, a student movement that works on college campuses, stresses that these skills do not serve the goal of coming to consensus, but focus on opening up communication. “A common mistake people make when thinking about bridge-building is that everyone has to come together to agree,” Addison said. “But bridge-building is a skill.” 

Carney asked, “How do we teach our kids to live in a world that embraces difference? We’ve got to be able to navigate through it.” And, she noted, adults are modeling this behavior to children in their everyday interactions as well as in the opinions they explicitly share. 

Across the board, the panelists saw reasons for optimism. Carney’s organization asked research subjects to supply words that describe the country. “Division always comes up number one in terms of the nation,” she said. But associations with community were largely positive—good and safe were common replies. “Broadly, there’s this disconnect between what’s happening at the national level and what’s happening in your own backyard,” Carney said. 

Addison said that focusing on community and starting small is a solid strategy. “Even slight, informal interactions can really build trust,” she added.