Game speedrunning enthusiasts once discovered that a greasy disc was the key to enabling a big time-saving trick in SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom on the original Xbox. Speedrunner SHiFT, the current leaderboard champ in the game, reveals how, with the right console generation choice, the right drive, the right configuration of greasy smudges, and with mastery of the 'lag clip' technique, you could complete SpongeBob running from the optical drive in record time.

The above video is partly a detective story, as the competitive speedrunning community focuses intensely on any not-so-obvious speed advantages that can be achieved. The dream is to slice seconds off the completion time of this game and achieve a speedrun of under 40 minutes. SHiFT discusses how the gunked-up game disc tactic was confirmed as a winning strategy, while not breaking any community guidelines.

The original Xbox version of the SpongeBob game is the default choice of the speedrunning community, as it has faster loading than the PS2 and GameCube versions. However, there were various versions of the Xbox, too. For example, there are four different optical drive manufacturers, among other nuanced differences. So, detective work and experience were used to narrow down the best vintage machine.

Speedrunners, including SHiFT and Zim, worked for hours testing various combinations of optical drives, laser modules, and connector cables. They even wondered if the video chip (which varies between production years on Xbox) or the TV connector method had an impact on timings. In a daze from a super-long streaming session, they eventually decided to look at the condition of the disc. It was smudgy, but it could be worse...

An inspirational moment then occurred, and they tried making the disc filthy and smeary with grease and sweat. However, it was ultimately found that a strategically placed pattern of smears, with eight strokes emanating from the center like the petals of a flower, was a winning choice. This grease config made it easy for the player to induce the elusive lag clip timesaving technique – no hardware tinkering necessary – without making the optical disc unreadable.

They had found “the holy grail” of SpongeBob lag clipping speedrunning. SHiFT’s conclusion was confirmed in some correspondence with the then-champion among SpongeBob speedrunners, who goes by the unimproveable handle swagmasterdoritos. The master admitted, “I clean my discs via licking them then using a pillowcase to wipe and clean.” An image shared by swagmasterdoritos showed the spit-cleaned disc featured petal-like streaks. That’s how they had been enjoying super-slick lag clipping throughout the game: there was nothing particularly unique about their original Xbox.

Two new entrants have broken into the top five of the leaderboard in the last five days, but SHiFT's time of 40m 27s is still more than 90s ahead of the nearest challenger. Nowadays, the community has given up on optical disks. You will see that all the top SpongeBob speedruns play the game from the Xbox HDD. Some thought lag clips were too inconsistent, and that potentially damaging game discs by smudging or scratching them was unethical.

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Mark Tyson is a news editor at Tom's Hardware. He enjoys covering the full breadth of PC tech; from business and semiconductor design to products approaching the edge of reason.