The problem
We’ve all done it. Walked past a drooping fern, crouched down and given it a few encouraging words (whether you admit it to other people is a different matter). We are told it’s actually good for our plants, so should we all be chatting away to them to help them thrive?

The hack
Speaking to your plants is said to encourage growth. This is because breathing near them releases carbon dioxide, which they absorb during photosynthesis. More CO2 means faster, healthier growth.

The method
Go over to your plant, lean in and talk to it for a couple of minutes or more. It’s very simple.

The test
I talked to one of two pothos daily for a couple of weeks, leaving the other in silence. There was no measurable difference in growth between them. Maybe I needed to breathe more heavily or speak for longer? What I did notice was that the plant I spoke to got checked, turned and watered more, simply because I was paying attention.

The verdict
The CO2 argument is theoretically sound but negligible at conversational distance. Your plant isn’t getting a meaningful boost in photosynthesis from your chat about the weekly shop. What is more plausible is that people who talk to their plants look at them more closely, notice problems earlier and are more attentive. The plant may not hear you, but it almost certainly benefits from being noticed.